Why you shouldn't cheat on your spouse.......

[BriGuy82 | 794]

6 minutes ago, arch_8ngel said:

There is a pretty significant difference between a small TV (incoming video signal, potentially OTA only) and giving inmates access to 2-way digital communication.

Yeah and this was before flat screens/smart tvs. He probably could've hooked a nes up to it though. 

[Tulpa | 3,537]

1 hour ago, Estil said:

Please don't tell me they get to do that for free.

No, the college courses have to be paid for. Usually with grants, loans and scholarships like any other student. They may qualify for a few special grants here and there.

But you know, I'd rather have them taking college courses so they can learn to do a legal, honest job when they get out rather than being dumped on the street knowing not how to do anything but the crimes they committed that got them sent there in the first place.

[Estil | 1,265]

7 minutes ago, Tulpa said:

No, the college courses have to be paid for. Usually with grants, loans and scholarships like any other student. They may qualify for a few special grants here and there.

But you know, I'd rather have them taking college courses so they can learn to do a legal, honest job when they get out rather than being dumped on the street knowing not how to do anything but the crimes they committed that got them sent there in the first place.

Oh I'm all for that and in fact I would encourage it.  I just didn't think it'd be fair if they got to do it for free while everyone else had to pay for it.   

[arch_8ngel | 1,597]

6 minutes ago, Estil said:

Oh I'm all for that and in fact I would encourage it.  I just didn't think it'd be fair if they got to do it for free while everyone else had to pay for it.   

Well, it is hard enough for a felon to get meaningful employment of ANY kind after they serve their sentence.

I'm all for programs that help them improve their prospects of reintegrating with society -- degree programs and trades for instance.

Though I would certainly hope for the relatively small number of students that entails that universities and technical schools wouldn't be charging full freight.

[Bearcat-Doug | 5,105]

3 hours ago, captmorgandrinker said:

Shockingly yes.   You can have Facebook too- there's a guy I went to school with that has been in prison since '94 that has one.   

I thought maybe at first it was somebody else pretending to be him, but there's pics on there from inside prison.

Guessing it's heavily monitored and only for certain categories of inmates?

That is surprising. I know of jails that have payphones and kiosks for video chats, but I didn't know of any that have regular internet.

[Reed Rothchild | 9,592]

5 hours ago, fcgamer said:

Personally, I think it's shit. Shows no respect for the husband. "But he cheated on her...", I hear people screaming. Two points on that.

1. In Asian countries this is very, very common. Classic example is the Taiwanense husband working abroad in China, sending back money for the stay-at-home mom. Both the man and the wife are having numerous affairs in such cases. The attitudes towards cheating cannot be compared between East and West.

2. Likely the cheating either happened because there were already problems in the marriage, or he just couldn't control himself. If the latter, it's gonna keep happening and she should just accept it or move on to a better partner. If the first thing, well should have worked together to address the issues at hand.

Selling someone else's stuff is out of line and unacceptable, imo.

So selling some bastard's shit is "unacceptable", but cheating on his wife because he "couldn't control himself" is something she should "just accept?"

Yeah, sorry, but you are 100% wrong on this.  He fucked around and he got fucked for it.  Guess he shouldn't have been such a rotten piece of shit? 

"This is very, very common and very different in the East vs the West."

I guess someone forgot to explain that to her

[Tulpa | 3,537]

40 minutes ago, Estil said:

Oh I'm all for that and in fact I would encourage it.  I just didn't think it'd be fair if they got to do it for free while everyone else had to pay for it.   

Well, a lot of them can't get those loans and scholarships, and end up right back on the street without even so much as a "good luck", let alone any prospects for a job. So rest assured, the cycle of crime will continue for a lot of them, ensuring more tax dollars are spent on incarcerating them in the future.

[captmorgandrinker | 1,650]

48 minutes ago, Bearcat-Doug said:

That is surprising. I know of jails that have payphones and kiosks for video chats, but I didn't know of any that have regular internet.

Big difference between jail and prison though.   Jail is meant for stuff that's for a few months where prison is much longer typically.   

So it would make more sense for prisons to have some of this stuff (maybe as a good behavior reward or something?) rather than a jail.

[Tulpa | 3,537]

I'm sure a lot of the inmate internet use is supervised, and I can't imagine they'd give access to people like child molesters and whatnot. But even the Supermax prisons allow TV (with heavily restricted content) for some.

[Estil | 1,265]

2 hours ago, arch_8ngel said:

Well, it is hard enough for a felon to get meaningful employment of ANY kind after they serve their sentence.

I'm all for programs that help them improve their prospects of reintegrating with society -- degree programs and trades for instance.

Though I would certainly hope for the relatively small number of students that entails that universities and technical schools wouldn't be charging full freight.

I'll go along with free GED/vocational stuff.

[Bearcat-Doug | 5,105]

1 hour ago, captmorgandrinker said:

Big difference between jail and prison though.   Jail is meant for stuff that's for a few months where prison is much longer typically.   

So it would make more sense for prisons to have some of this stuff (maybe as a good behavior reward or something?) rather than a jail.

Makes sense. It's probably some kind of filtered/restricted internet like libraries have. 

[kell | 102]

My wife wouldn't sell my stuff, she'd just give it away. Double whammy.

[arch_8ngel | 1,597]

35 minutes ago, Estil said:

I'll go along with free GED/vocational stuff.

If they have an aptitude for more, I'm fully in support of resourcing them as well as practically possible to not reoffend and get stuck in the system.

[DarkTone | 988]

Insert trap card joke here. 

[fcgamer | 4,754]

4 hours ago, Reed Rothchild said:

So selling some bastard's shit is "unacceptable", but cheating on his wife because he "couldn't control himself" is something she should "just accept?"

Yeah, sorry, but you are 100% wrong on this.  He fucked around and he got fucked for it.  Guess he shouldn't have been such a rotten piece of shit? 

"This is very, very common and very different in the East vs the West."

I guess someone forgot to explain that to her

I'm not saying it's right, but I'm just stating how it generally is in these parts. 

Wow, calling the guy a piece of shit? I guess that's quite normal for you, judging people of different cultures through a western-centric lense.

 

[Reed Rothchild | 9,592]

13 minutes ago, fcgamer said:

I'm not saying it's right, but I'm just stating how it generally is in these parts. 

Wow, calling the guy a piece of shit? I guess that's quite normal for you, judging people of different cultures through a western-centric lense.

I'm judging him based on his wife's trust, which was clearly violated judging by her reaction.  So, yes.  Piece of shit.  Period.  Full stop.  Should we ping any individual female member of the forum for their two cents?

[KokiriChild | 1,644]

12 minutes ago, Reed Rothchild said:

I'm judging him based on his wife's trust, which was clearly violated judging by her reaction.  So, yes.  Piece of shit.  Period.  Full stop.  Should we ping any individual female member of the forum for their two cents?

Gotta agree with you on this one here. 

Cheating one of the worst things you can do to a person, mainly because it completely shatters the trust of the person you thought you could trust the most. It's a really hard thing to emotionally come back from.

[fcgamer | 4,754]

12 minutes ago, Reed Rothchild said:

I'm judging him based on his wife's trust, which was clearly violated judging by her reaction.  So, yes.  Piece of shit.  Period.  Full stop.  Should we ping any individual female member of the forum for their two cents?

Yeah, you're applying your western-centric views to judge a Japanese guy, classy.

You should do some research on marriages in Japan, as well as cheating, and attitudes towards cheating. Similar to Taiwanense culture, there's a lot of couples who end up in sexless, loveless marriages, and remain, either to maintain face, keep the family intact, for the kids, etc. Then, the outside relationships often become one part to help fulfill their physical needs, whilst staying with their spouse.

It's a very complicated issue, but viewing it from an American/western perspective does not paint a proper picture of the matter, and us therefore inappropriate, calling the guy a rotten piece of shit over it, even worse.

On the other hand, the wife selling off the guy's stuff is childish at best. Such acts of revenge aren't going to solve anything, and at worst will ultimately just create bigger problems.

[fcgamer | 4,754]

19 minutes ago, KokiriChild said:

Gotta agree with you on this one here. 

Cheating one of the worst things you can do to a person, mainly because it completely shatters the trust of the person you thought you could trust the most. It's a really hard thing to emotionally come back from.

I totally agree with you, @KokiriChild , regarding cheating, as it's something I personally despise as well.

On the other hand, I'm also a bit aware of how cheating is viewed in other areas of the world, and I feel it very inappropriate to be using our American / western  prejudices and views to be judging Japanese people for something they, as a society, often view in a very different manner.

if you have an apple and an orange, it would be foolish to try to eat one in the same manner as you'd eat the other, and the same can be said here.

[Kguillemette | 1,547]

6 minutes ago, fcgamer said:

 

On the other hand, the wife selling off the guy's stuff is childish at best. Such acts of revenge aren't going to solve anything, and at worst will ultimately just create bigger problems.

On the contrary, selling all that stuff gives a nice tangible number to divide evenly when the divorce happens! Solves a pretty big problem right there.

[Reed Rothchild | 9,592]

@fcgamer You're clueless dude.  And it's pointless to argue with you.  That's well known by now.  But try to find one person here who doesn't think he's a piece of shit who deserved it.  One.  His wife's actions tell us all we need to know.  And yet you (in twisted fashion) make it out to be her fault.

[MrWunderful | 2,927]

12 minutes ago, Reed Rothchild said:

@fcgamer You're clueless dude.  And it's pointless to argue with you.  That's well known by now.  But try to find one person here who doesn't think he's a piece of shit who deserved it.  One.  His wife's actions tell us all we need to know.  And yet you (in twisted fashion) make it out to be her fault.

If it was some well known cultural norm, she wouldnt have sold his shit, and probably suffered in silence like all the other poor women before her. 
 

I mean, what a horrible western morality concept- breaching someones trust to the degree they destroy something you obviously cared about. Barbaric!

[fcgamer | 4,754]

29 minutes ago, Reed Rothchild said:

@fcgamer You're clueless dude.  And it's pointless to argue with you.  That's well known by now.  But try to find one person here who doesn't think he's a piece of shit who deserved it.  One.  His wife's actions tell us all we need to know.  And yet you (in twisted fashion) make it out to be her fault.

I'm clueless? Nah, you're the clueless one man. You honestly should get a larger world view before arguing about things that you have no idea about.

As for the others on here, similar common groupthink based around your American experiences and viewpoints.

[fcgamer | 4,754]

34 minutes ago, Kguillemette said:

On the contrary, selling all that stuff gives a nice tangible number to divide evenly when the divorce happens! Solves a pretty big problem right there.

I don't remember, did the article say whether they were getting divorced or not?

Similarly, we'd have to know how divorce works in Japan to knot whether this aided anything or not.

[KokiriChild | 1,644]

13 minutes ago, fcgamer said:

I don't remember, did the article say whether they were getting divorced or not?

Similarly, we'd have to know how divorce works in Japan to knot whether this aided anything or not.

I can understand the idea that there are cultural things that are misunderstood. For example, how shoes need to be taken off when entering a home in Japan, or marijuana use and prostitution in Amsterdam. That's an example of cultural differences. 

There are some things however, that are universally considered wrong, and this is one of them dude. We're not talking about someone who was consentingly polyamorous here. You could argue whether or not selling his stuff was a justifiable reaction, but to say that she should have accepted his cheating or moved on because of "cultural differences" is just a bad take.