JVOSS | 1,779 Posted May 18, 2021 Share Posted May 18, 2021 (edited) Quick tell me a good joke. its been a very rough day and would love to have a good laugh. Edited May 19, 2021 by JVOSS Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Code Monkey | 2,244 Posted May 18, 2021 Share Posted May 18, 2021 Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It's rated ARRRRRRRRR! My buddy told that on the microphone at karaoke one night, I almost spit out my beer. 3 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-192895 Share on other sites More sharing options...
GPX | 1,444 Posted May 18, 2021 Share Posted May 18, 2021 Did you want the funnest or the funniest joke? (That was my joke) 1 1 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-192899 Share on other sites More sharing options...
JVOSS | 1,779 Posted May 18, 2021 Author Share Posted May 18, 2021 5 minutes ago, GPX said: Did you want the funnest or the funniest joke? (That was my joke) and that is how my day went. 1 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-192900 Share on other sites More sharing options...
fcgamer | 5,138 Posted May 18, 2021 Share Posted May 18, 2021 (edited) Why is Santa a great pimp? He's got all his ho ho ho s. Edited May 18, 2021 by fcgamer 2 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-192901 Share on other sites More sharing options...
T-Pac | 8,443 Posted May 18, 2021 Share Posted May 18, 2021 What's green and has a hat? Spoiler A frog in a hat. 3 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193095 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabonga | 2,533 Posted May 18, 2021 Share Posted May 18, 2021 (edited) Sven died so his wife Lena went to put an obituary in the newspaper. When she asked how much she was told that it was $5 for every six words. Being thrifty she told the clerk that she just wanted it to say "Sven is dead." The clerk said that it was the same price for 6 words as for 3 so might as well add to the message. She thought about it and told this to the clerk: Spoiler Sven is dead. Boat for sale. Edited May 18, 2021 by Tabonga 2 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193109 Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH | 5,429 Posted May 18, 2021 Share Posted May 18, 2021 (edited) What do you call a woman with one leg? Spoiler Ilene What do you call an Asian woman with one leg? Spoiler Irene What does a fish say when it runs into a wall? Spoiler Dam That's all I got. Edited May 19, 2021 by RH 1 1 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193110 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Code Monkey | 2,244 Posted May 18, 2021 Share Posted May 18, 2021 What happened to the funnest joke? Did you change your input requirements? I need to change my answer, 1 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193111 Share on other sites More sharing options...
JVOSS | 1,779 Posted May 19, 2021 Author Share Posted May 19, 2021 3 hours ago, Code Monkey said: What happened to the funnest joke? Did you change your input requirements? I need to change my answer, @Code Monkeythis one if for you Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193141 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Link | 2,952 Posted May 19, 2021 Share Posted May 19, 2021 What did 0 say to 8? Spoiler Nice belt! 1 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193148 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Link | 2,952 Posted May 19, 2021 Share Posted May 19, 2021 Two doctor/old man jokes. Doctor is reviewing the checkup with old man and his wife. “I’ll need a blood sample, a urine sample, and a stool sample.” Old man cups his ear and says, “Eh? What’s that? I couldn’t hear you.” Wife leans over and shouts in his other ear, Spoiler “He said he wants your underwear!” Old man #2 comes home from the doctor, grinning ear-to-ear. “Well?” his wife says. “What are you so happy about?” Old man sticks his thumbs in his suspenders, pulling them forward and arching his back, and says, Spoiler “The doctor says I’m imPOtent!” 2 1 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193151 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Webhead123 | 831 Posted May 19, 2021 Share Posted May 19, 2021 (edited) A couple of science jokes: --An argon atom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey! Noble gases aren't allowed in here!" The argon had no reaction. --A physicist, an engineer and a statistician go deer hunting together. They spy their first deer and the physicist says, "This one is mine!" He aims but forgets to account for wind resistance, so his shot falls 10 feet short. The engineer steps forward. "Let me show you how it's done!" He lines up his shot and accounts for the wind resistance but he overcompensates and his shot goes 10 feet long. The statistician immediately gets excited and starts jumping up and down. "We got him! We got him!" A two-part Buddhist joke: --A Buddhist approaches a hot dog cart and the vendor says, "What'll you have?" The Buddhist says, "Make me one with everything." --So, the vendor makes up his order and the Buddhist pays with a $20 bill. The Buddhist looks expectantly at the vendor for a few seconds and then says, "What about my change?" The vendor says, "Change comes only from within". Edited May 19, 2021 by Webhead123 1 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193167 Share on other sites More sharing options...
phart010 | 1,809 Posted May 19, 2021 Share Posted May 19, 2021 Where do you take someone who is having a peek-a-boo emergency? Spoiler To the I-C-U Japanese janitor bursts out of a closet shouting ______________ Spoiler SUPPLIES! 3 2 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193170 Share on other sites More sharing options...
docile tapeworm | 4,349 Posted May 19, 2021 Share Posted May 19, 2021 its so cold outside... i seen a politician with his hands in his own pockets. 1 3 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193172 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabonga | 2,533 Posted May 19, 2021 Share Posted May 19, 2021 My hotel room was so small that the mice were stoop shouldered. 1 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193181 Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDIRunner | 3,011 Posted May 19, 2021 Share Posted May 19, 2021 It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a very revealing negligee. She said nothing, but instead took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom. There she engaged him in the most passionate love-making he had ever experienced. When he could hardly even speak, let alone think of more sex, she somehow managed to shower him, dress him, and take him downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. She poured him a cup of steaming coffee and noticed his strength returning as she rubbed his neck soothingly. Just then, as she was pouring a second cup of Java feeling like life couldn't get any better, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. He blurted out, "This whole neighborhood has been incredible on my last day, but this here ... well, this is just too wonderful for words!" Then, puzzled, he added, "... but ... what's the dollar for?" "Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and I said that we should do something special for you. I asked him what he thought I should give you." He grunted and said, "Aw fuck him; give him a dollar." Then she added, "Breakfast and the neck rub were MY idea." 2 5 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193212 Share on other sites More sharing options...
nrslam | 501 Posted May 19, 2021 Share Posted May 19, 2021 (edited) Two traveling salesmen get to talking in the hotel bar. "So, you're from Texas," salesman from Rhode Island says," What's that like?" "Well, son, I get in my truck in the morning, drive just as fast as that truck will go, and 30 minutes later I still haven't come to the edge of my property." Spoiler Other salesman shakes his head and says, "Yeah, I used to have a car like that." Old man walks up to receptionist in a crowded waiting room and loudly announces "There's something wrong with my dick!" Receptionist replies "You can't say that in a room full of people! Go back out, then come in and say something else, like your ear hurts." Old man leaves, then returns to receptionist and says "There's something wrong with my ear!" Receptionist smiles, then asks sweetly "What's wrong with your ear, sir?" Spoiler "I can't piss out of it!" Edited May 19, 2021 by nrslam 2 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193218 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BortLicensePlate | 661 Posted May 19, 2021 Share Posted May 19, 2021 How do you know when its a Dad joke? Spoiler When the punch line becomes apparent 1 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193229 Share on other sites More sharing options...
RegularGuyGamer | 2,094 Posted May 19, 2021 Share Posted May 19, 2021 Why were the other numbers afraid of 7? Spoiler Because he was a registered six offender. 1 1 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193239 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabonga | 2,533 Posted May 19, 2021 Share Posted May 19, 2021 A Texan and an Alaskan were at a conference in Minneapolis and after the day's events were over they went out drinking. They spent the night quaffing beers while arguing in a friendly manner about which state was bigger/better etc. When the bars closed they found themselves having to walk back to their hotel since they didn't have a cell phone to call for a ride. They entered a park and while crossing a bridge over a stream their bladders reminded them of what they had been doing all evening. They each faced off the opposite sides of the bridge. The Alaskan immediately said "Water sure is cold!". To which the Texan replied: Spoiler Deep too! 1 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193244 Share on other sites More sharing options...
captmorgandrinker | 1,680 Administrator · Posted May 19, 2021 Share Posted May 19, 2021 What's brown and sticky? Spoiler A stick! 1 1 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193252 Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorScoutMandy | 799 Posted May 19, 2021 Share Posted May 19, 2021 (edited) What does the boat go when it's sick? Spoiler The doc! What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? Spoiler A pouch-potato. Why was piglet looking in the toilet? Spoiler He was looking for Pooh. Edited May 19, 2021 by SailorScoutMandy More jokes 2 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193272 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nintendo Workshop | 38 Posted May 19, 2021 Share Posted May 19, 2021 My 6 year old: Dad what’s a pirates favorite letter? me: it’s ARRRR!!!! my 6 year old: Well you might think it’s ARRRR, but it’s actually the “C”. 4 1 Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193286 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Code Monkey | 2,244 Posted May 19, 2021 Share Posted May 19, 2021 What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Spoiler Dr. Dre Link to comment https://www.videogamesage.com/forums/topic/7760-tell-me-your-funnest-joke/#findComment-193301 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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