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How many of you moved far away from your hometown?


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I’m done with grad school and job hunting. I’m from Nashville and my entire life I’ve wanted to stay there. But after job hunting for awhile, I’ve come to realize that 1. Nashville isn’t the best market for my line of work and 2. I’m getting the urge to move elsewhere. Problem is I’m entirely too sentimental, and I’m afraid of being far away from my family if an emergency or, God forbid, a death occurs.

I’m curious what other people have done and what their experiences were.

Everything else aside, I’d love to move out west.

Edited by The Strangest

Couple questions for you-

1- How old are you?  If you don't want to give an exact age, an approximation is fine (mid-20s, etc)

2- Do you have a significant other?   Children?

Actually a third- do you have any local family/siblings?

I moved back to my hometown after college since that's where my friends were, and I was able to transfer my job to a nearby location.   I wanted to move back to Cincinnati a few years ago, but when it's more than just you there's a lot more that goes into a move.

I grew up in a small town, no work to be found in my field. But I was also dating someone who lived a couple hours away in a big city. So I found a job by her and moved up to the city with her. Since then we got married and have a great life. Regarding family, I have 2 sisters, my parents and my uncle/aunt and their kids. Its about 1-2 hours to drive to any of them, in different directions. Makes it difficult to get together for family things but ehh, happens. I guess it depends how close you are to your family. I dont miss the town itself TBH

Moderator · Posted

I grew up in a small town in Minnesota and now live about 45 minutes south, in the suburbs. Great jobs,  nice schools and tons of things to see and do close by but I would never want to live any further from my family. Being less than an hour away means I can easily stop in to my parents and visit every week if I’d like, which is great as they get older. 

I've moved all over the country during my adult life; Michigan to Ohio to Texas to Washington to Georgia and I'm getting ready to move to a new state in a few months.

I've absolutely loved being so mobile. It forces you to re-evaluate your life (job, relationships, possessions) on a regular basis and makes you very adaptable. I've made great friends in every place I've lived and keeping in touch is easier than ever. I also have a wonderful relationship with my parents and family.

The way I look at it, a flight is a flight. You're kind of wasting a whole day on travel whether the flight is one hour or six hours. Once you move far enough away that you need to fly home, you can move anywhere.

So I'd look at it as an opportunity.

  • Like 6

Moved from upstate NY to Long Island to live with my future wife. She is a teacher and LI was overstocked with teachers so we moved to Maryland since we both had job offers. We own a home and now have a son in a great town. No regrets. 

I moved to VA from NH to try to find better work. I was 22 and single at the time. In addition to attaching myself to a great company and really advancing my career, i met my wife in the process. 10 years later, we moved to NH to be around my family.

 

If you are young with no responsibilities, don't get comfortable. Take some risks and experience a way of life you aren't accustomed to. Taking a risk of moving halfway across the country rather than moving in with my parents and playing it safe wound up being the best decision I ever made.

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Grew up in Lexington, KY and went to grad school at UK. Moved to OH for a great job opportunity and spent 6 years there. Moved to NC in 2018 for another great opportunity and love it here. Moving has allowed me to advance my career and have experiences I wouldn’t have had by staying in my hometown. I’m way better off all around for being flexible to relocation. While I see family and friends a little less than before due to distance, I don’t feel distant because we’ve just adapted how we stay in touch. I’ve made new friends and new relationships each place I’ve lived and it has been great. At the end of the day KY or OH are not going anywhere and I can always move back at any time so I’ve had zero regrets.

The American dream has always been about going where the opportunities are, and it's never been easier today than anytime in human history. Think of the people who all the people who moved from Europe in the 1800s and never saw or heard from anyone in their hometowns again. Now you can facetime your relatives and tell them you just yanked your crank or crapped out a kid or whatever mundane stuff you want to share on a daily basis.

You owe it to yourself to experience a few different places and meet new people / make new friends / experience different parts of the country (or world).

Edited by Daniel_Doyce
world beater
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  • Haha 1

I moved from the Pittsburgh area to Seattle 40 years ago, and now that I'm retired I'm looking at getting out of Seattle.  I've only been back to PA 3 times since I left, no longer have family there, and doubt I'll ever go back again.  Part of me wishes I'd moved a few more times - the path not taken musings, I guess.  I've travelled all over the US and beyond, but visiting an area is nothing like living there.

I lived in Montreal for 11 years, surrey for 17 years, white rock for 3 years, victoria for 3 years currently. I'll probably stay here for awhile, but I don't know if I'll stay out here the rest of my life. I've always wanted to live in europe.

5 hours ago, captmorgandrinker said:

Couple questions for you-

1- How old are you?  If you don't want to give an exact age, an approximation is fine (mid-20s, etc)

2- Do you have a significant other?   Children?

Actually a third- do you have any local family/siblings?

I moved back to my hometown after college since that's where my friends were, and I was able to transfer my job to a nearby location.   I wanted to move back to Cincinnati a few years ago, but when it's more than just you there's a lot more that goes into a move.

Mid-20s, I have a SO but I’m not sure how long that’s going to last, and yes I’ve got family and siblings here in Nashville.

3 minutes ago, The Strangest said:

Mid-20s, I have a SO but I’m not sure how long that’s going to last, and yes I’ve got family and siblings here in Nashville.

Now is the time to explore life outside of Nashville then!   

I had to move after university for my career. I didn't like being away from my family and friends as it was a 16 hour drive home and flying was expensive. It wasn't bad though with my wife and I did meet some new people along the way. Also living in central Canada let me see a lot of concerts that I would have missed otherwise. Wasn't all bad. Luckily I was able to get a transfer back after about 7 years living abroad. It took me a while to settle back in and it obviously isn't the same as when I left. I get to see my family all the time now though which is the most important thing for me. I would have stayed after university of I could have found a position. That's my experience. Nothing has to be permanent though... Could always move for a year and test the waters. 

800 miles from “home”. I visit once a year, usually. There is nothing to do there, so I went somewhere more interesting. I came here for school about 20 years ago, moved to a couple other cities afterwards, ended up back here.

What kind of life do you want to have? 

Travel/Work outside the country.  You could learn a lot and have an experience you will remember the rest of your life.

No job, aren't married, no kids, nothing to tie you down.  You aren't going to have a chance to 5 years from now.

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As others have said, if you don't have anything tying you down (kids and such) then now is the time to do it! I'm 21 and am about to move to Tokyo for the 3rd time in my life, the last time I was 14 and finished high school there, so I guess it's a second hometown for me and less of a big change.

Personally I think you should do it, but no pressure. PS. I love your city's fried chicken.

Edited by DeChief
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My family seems like it has moved each generation, at least.

Great grandparents on all sides seemed to have moved to escape Spanish flu.

The grandparents moved for various economic opportunities.

Though in my parents' generation only my mom and my dad moved away from their respective parents' towns.  (Their siblings stuck around)

But they moved multiple times with kids in tow until we settled down.

And this generation my siblings and I have all moved to different cities following three different career types.

It makes some things harder, but we grew up traveling for Christmas and for a summer vacation or spring break, so we are all kind of conditioned to it.

 

It isn't as big of a deal, in my opinion, as you are making it out to be, since you are relatively young and can easily travel home if you need to.

Moved about a 3 hours minimum drive from where I grew up. Aside from some people, I don't miss it at all. There was just nothing there for me. Plenty of others did the same. It's an odd feeling going into a business where you were bound to run into people you knew every time, and not recognize a single person. Being a stranger in a place you once called home.

16 hours ago, Link said:

What kind of life do you want to have? 

That’s a great question, lol. All I really know going forward is that I want to start this “next phase” of my life. Work, get my own home, and possibly a family. Being in school the last six years of my life, I’m tired of feeling like I’m chasing something. I’ve got two degrees, no debt, and I’m still looking for the next step.

Trying to keep my job search in Tennessee has stalled “the next step” I think.

3 hours ago, The Strangest said:

That’s a great question, lol. All I really know going forward is that I want to start this “next phase” of my life. Work, get my own home, and possibly a family. Being in school the last six years of my life, I’m tired of feeling like I’m chasing something. I’ve got two degrees, no debt, and I’m still looking for the next step.

Trying to keep my job search in Tennessee has stalled “the next step” I think.

How far West are you wanting to move? Like @DoctorEncore said, a flight is a flight, but DFW, Austin, and Houston have a lot to offer in high-tech fields and the cost of living is still relatively low compared to other cities with similar offerings. It's a quick flight or a (brutal) day's drive to family, too. If you're thinking about moving to the coast, or anywhere really, I'd recommend looking up your expected cost of living before seriously looking for jobs or talking salaries, especially since you're considering purchasing a home. A $60,000 salary sounds great in Tennessee, but it's not doing so hot in most of the larger cities on the West Coast.

You sound a lot like me after I graduated college. I lived in my hometown of Lubbock, TX for 20 years until I moved to Austin and then to DFW. I had a lot of nostalgia for Lubbock and had a girlfriend and plenty of friends when I moved. Some friends stayed in Lubbock, and some left. I've kept in touch with a couple of them, but as you get older, your friends' priorities tend to shift from hanging out to starting a family and having kids, which makes it harder to keep in regular contact unless both parties are willing to try. I tried doing the long distance relationship thing with the girlfriend, but we broke up about a year-and-a-half after I moved for various reasons. We both could have stagnated in Lubbock, but when I left I broke the cycle. She never made it out of Lubbock and, as far as I know, is still a waitress but now has a bachelors. 

I still talk to my immediate family at least weekly. I don't think we'd be any closer if we all lived in the same town, but YMMV.

Moving to a different and better city helped me out immensely. I had and have much better job prospects, and what Houston, DFW, and Austin offer are all leagues ahead of anything I could have ever had in Lubbock. Initially, it was scary, but it was totally worth it.

Edit: One more thing, it's worth pointing out that Lubbock is also a far cry from Nashville, too. Nashville has a good amount to offer in its own right. My choice was easy: move from a town with very few job prospects and 200,000 people to two cities with several million people and many more jobs and opportunities. If my choice would have been moving from Nashville to somewhere else, it would have been a tougher choice. Maybe just moving across town could be the new start you need.

Edited by Philosoraptor
Additional thought.

I’ve applied as far east as St. Louis and as far west as Seattle. With some in between like Salt Lake City. I had considered California but I’m not sure I can tackle that cost of living. Same with Seattle, but o just decided to put some applications out there.

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I'm from Puerto Rico.  I moved to Miami when I finished graduate school and I've been living here for 27 years now.  You have to start again getting friends and forming a social circle, but it sure is doable.  It helps if there is someone you know in whatever new place you end up going.  I had one relative in Miami who helped me with the relocation, finding a place to live, etc.  

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