Drama at the Coffee Shop - How Would You Respond?

[fcgamer | 4,985]

I went for lunch with my business partner and afterwards we stopped off for coffee at a local coffee shop, basically it's a cheaper version of Starbucks. We usually go here three or four times a week.

I brought my notebook as we had wanted to put the finishing touches on a website for a company we started. So we used the table we were sitting at for our coffees, grabbed another small table next to us and put the laptop on there. The tables are really small to begin with, and I also wanted to reduce the chances of spillage onto my computer.

A little while later, a really overweight middle aged Taiwanense woman comes up the stairs, stands in front of us, and starts telling us off, asking why we took that table and saying how we should put the computer and coffee on the same table, etc. Just really random, and I suggested she could sit at a different table but she wouldn't let us be until we forfeited the table to her.

A few things worth mentioning: 

1. The coffee shop was not very busy to begin with, so there were tons of tables she could have sat at.

2. Even if that was "her" table, it definitely wasn't during that time of day, as I've never seen the woman there before, and I am there basically every day at the same time.

3. People always push the tables together or grab extras when they are doing things, it's standard at this coffee shop.

We forfeited the table and just got on with what we were doing, as we had more important things to do, and furthermore, my business partner is from England, and is a bit less confrontational than I would normally be in a situation like that, so I figured it be best to follow suit.

But I'm curious how others would have reacted. I don't believe that I was in the wrong, as I did like others do, and the shop wasn't crowded, so the whole situation was a major wtf moment for me.

[LeatherRebel5150 | 1,089]

I would’ve told her to piss off. But I’m not  one to avoid confrontation like your partner there. I even enjoy it on occasion if I’m in the right mood and someone like that gets in my business. Fun way to cut a promo as they say in wrestling 

[BortLicensePlate | 652]

If someone is that angry about something so trivial I would assume they were having a bad day otherwise. Maybe she's just a grumpy old lady, or maybe she lost a family member that day or something, you never know. So I would probably just let her have the table and move on with my day. Wouldn't bother me any

[Jeevan | 9,155]

we all know how @JamesRobot would respond

[fcgamer | 4,985]

1 hour ago, LeatherRebel5150 said:

I would’ve told her to piss off. But I’m not  one to avoid confrontation like your partner there. I even enjoy it on occasion if I’m in the right mood and someone like that gets in my business. Fun way to cut a promo as they say in wrestling 

Well my friend is very polite, haha. Anytime we had meetings, you'd always see a culture divide straight down the middle, with the Americas/Canadians being quicker to get short, and the English folks being a bit more polite.

So yeah I didn't want to start calling her out, out of respect for my friend/business partner, but usually I'd probably take your approach.

[fcgamer | 4,985]

It's funny though, later her husband/son(?) came up, and she proudly told him about what she did, and you could see he felt embarrassed.

[OptOut | 8,966]

Old ladies in Taiwan are a bunch of old crows generally, in my experience! They're ALWAYS looking for an excuse to bitch someone out, you just happened to be there, lol! 

[Hammerfestus | 4,099]

[JamesRobot | 6,022]

[Boosted52405 | 178]

I assume she wasn't the owner/manager?  That's the only reason I could see even a hint of bothersome behavior on your end, but not if there were plenty of open tables.  Like if the place was packed and a table was needed...

If it was a random customer starting drama, I probably would have talked to the manager and asked if it was a problem, then let them deal with it.  People act incredibly entitled, it drives me crazy.

[fcgamer | 4,985]

8 minutes ago, Boosted52405 said:

I assume she wasn't the owner/manager?  That's the only reason I could see even a hint of bothersome behavior on your end, but not if there were plenty of open tables.  Like if the place was packed and a table was needed...

If it was a random customer starting drama, I probably would have talked to the manager and asked if it was a problem, then let them deal with it.  People act incredibly entitled, it drives me crazy.

Yeah it definitely was a random customer. 

[Code Monkey | 2,127]

7 hours ago, fcgamer said:

I went for lunch with my business partner and afterwards we stopped off for coffee at a local coffee shop, basically it's a cheaper version of Starbucks. We usually go here three or four times a week.

I brought my notebook as we had wanted to put the finishing touches on a website for a company we started. So we used the table we were sitting at for our coffees, grabbed another small table next to us and put the laptop on there. The tables are really small to begin with, and I also wanted to reduce the chances of spillage onto my computer.

A little while later, a really overweight middle aged Taiwanense woman comes up the stairs, stands in front of us, and starts telling us off, asking why we took that table and saying how we should put the computer and coffee on the same table, etc. Just really random, and I suggested she could sit at a different table but she wouldn't let us be until we forfeited the table to her.

A few things worth mentioning: 

1. The coffee shop was not very busy to begin with, so there were tons of tables she could have sat at.

2. Even if that was "her" table, it definitely wasn't during that time of day, as I've never seen the woman there before, and I am there basically every day at the same time.

3. People always push the tables together or grab extras when they are doing things, it's standard at this coffee shop.

We forfeited the table and just got on with what we were doing, as we had more important things to do, and furthermore, my business partner is from England, and is a bit less confrontational than I would normally be in a situation like that, so I figured it be best to follow suit.

But I'm curious how others would have reacted. I don't believe that I was in the wrong, as I did like others do, and the shop wasn't crowded, so the whole situation was a major wtf moment for me.

1. It's hard to explain but there are various mental illnesses that will cause someone to get incredibly anxious over something being out of place. The fact that she could have used another table is probably not a solution to her problem here, her problem may have been the fact that someone was using 2 tables when it is supposed to be just one table per group. It's hard to explain if you're not aware of how a person's brain works with some of these mental conditions but it can be very, very uncomfortable to be in the situation where this is occurring. Using another table doesn't solve that.

2. See above.

3. This is a common trait I see in Americans and I just don't quite understand it. People seem to like to use the excuse that it's okay for them to do something because other people do it too, this doesn't make sense to me. Is it okay for you to murder someone because lots of other people murder? You have to be your own person and make your own decisions, the fact that other people push tables together should have zero affect on whether you, as your own person, choose to push tables together. I would never use that as an excuse.

Overall I don't really have an opinion, I probably would have asked that person if they actually wanted the table I have or if they just had a problem with us using 2 tables in general. If they wanted that table, I would have given it to them and gotten another.

I'm just providing an argument here for a possible other side, I don't actually have a problem with anything that happened.

[Mega Tank | 1,090]

You should have given her the table and pulled up another table just to see how she would have responded

[fcgamer | 4,985]

Well I should have complained about her, she made multiple trips to the restroom, within about 45 minutes. Wonder what was going on in there

[DefaultGen | 5,720]

I've seen the movie Falling Down, so I would give that lady her table since I don't know how crazy she is. But for real I'm usually just trying to end unnecessary interactions ASAP. I'm probably not going to be able to argue with this lady since no one on Earth ever changes their view or admits they're wrong.

 

[Hammerfestus | 4,099]

Surprise twist.  She was actually mad because someone gave her a bag full of pennies.

[Reed Rothchild | 9,912]

23 minutes ago, Code Monkey said:

3. This is a common trait I see in Americans and I just don't quite understand it. People seem to like to use the excuse that it's okay for them to do something because other people do it too, this doesn't make sense to me. Is it okay for you to murder someone because lots of other people murder? You have to be your own person and make your own decisions, the fact that other people push tables together should have zero affect on whether you, as your own person, choose to push tables together. I would never use that as an excuse.

Ah nice, generalizing Americans and comparing table arrangements to murder!  Well done

You know what bothers me about all Canadians?  They feel like they can rummage through the bags of milk, kinda like how Hitler felt like he could rummage through Europe.

[Code Monkey | 2,127]

18 minutes ago, Reed Rothchild said:

Ah nice, generalizing Americans and comparing table arrangements to murder!  Well done

You know what bothers me about all Canadians?  They feel like they can rummage through the bags of milk, kinda like how Hitler felt like he could rummage through Europe.

If I see a common trait amongst people from a specific continent, am I allowed to point it out? Generalizing isn't bad if it's based on fact, I do notice this trait with people in North America.

[Hammerfestus | 4,099]

[Reed Rothchild | 9,912]

13 minutes ago, Code Monkey said:

If I see a common trait amongst people from a specific continent, am I allowed to point it out? Generalizing isn't bad if it's based on fact, I do notice this trait with people in North America.

No, like @DefaultGen said, no one will ever change their mind or introspect on anything, so you keep on generalizing all these "facts" you see. 

[phart010 | 1,779]

43 minutes ago, Reed Rothchild said:

Ah nice, generalizing Americans and comparing table arrangements to murder!  Well done

You know what bothers me about all Canadians?  They feel like they can rummage through the bags of milk, kinda like how Hitler felt like he could rummage through Europe.

In which country do they sell milk in a bag?

[Code Monkey | 2,127]

4 minutes ago, Reed Rothchild said:

No, like @DefaultGen said, no one will ever change their mind or introspect on anything, so you keep on generalizing all these "facts" you see. 

I think you're confused. I don't want to change anything, I'm simply pointing out something I've noticed.

- when I jump up, I tend to come back down

- if I walk into a wall, it hurts

- if I point out something someone is doing incorrectly, they often tend to justify it by telling me others do it also

These are simply things I've noticed through my journey in life, there's nothing more to it.

[Code Monkey | 2,127]

Just now, phart010 said:

In which country do they sell milk in a bag?

You've never seen a bag of milk? It's actually healthier than keeping it in a clear jug.

[TDIRunner | 2,876]

Uh oh.  We are about to derail into ANOTHER bag of milk thread.  

[Reed Rothchild | 9,912]

4 minutes ago, TDIRunner said:

Uh oh.  We are about to derail into ANOTHER bag of milk thread.  

Blame people from British Columbia.  They have this "incorrect" tendency to do that.  Just one of those facts I've noticed, kinda like how water is wet. 

Okay, I'm done.  We all know this will never go anywhere