Asshole Parents

[avatar! | 1,820]

Education is not exactly "thankless" but considering the shite teachers have to put up with, especially from shite parents, I think teachers should be making big bucks! A lot to say about that, but at any rate, I just saw this news article about yet another "infuriated" parent! I'm honestly guessing that many of these people are infuriated because they have to put up with their kids 24/7 instead of having the place to themselves during weekdays! Well, suck it up, Sally!! 

https://whdh.com/news/mom-of-lowell-student-infuriated-after-remote-learning-blunder-on-first-day-of-class/

“I’m just infuriated with the whole thing. It’s crazy.” ... Rebecca added that she will be forced to move her family out of Lowell if the learning experience fails to improve. “I’m really disgusted with the district,” she said. “This is awful.”

Apparently the district had very little time to prepare, and transitioning a whole system from in-person to online is difficult even if you have a few years to prepare. But, you know, some parents are just SO infuriated... because the first day wasn't perfect. Eh, piss off, Sally...

Edited September 18, 2020 by avatar!

[Dan64 | 66]

Day care is closed 

[TDIRunner | 2,744]

My wife is a teacher at a small private school.  She seriously makes almost nothing, but she has great health insurance and we get a major discount for our kids to go there and we planned to send our kids there regardless.

I see a lot of what she has to deal with, but luckily for her, she doesn't have to deal with nearly as much crap as the principal.  I really like our principal and I hope she doesn't leave the school over the shit some parents are giving her over these COVID decisions.  I truly feel sorry for her because there is not one single decision she can make where she won't have someone angry with her.  It doesn't matter.  You can have 100% remote learning, 100% in class learning, or a mix of the two (which is what they are using), and people still complain.  Seriously, you are allowed to chose if your kid in in the classroom or at home, and you are allowed to pick if they do that all day or a half day.  You literally get to pick whatever you want for your kid, and the parents are still complaining that it isn't enough. 

[fox | 1,668]

Prob even worse now with cameras in the classroom

[Code Monkey | 2,011]

Personally I think if someone is educating the next instance of life on this planet, they should be paid at the highest rate society can afford, even higher than doctors. I've always thought that.

I can also say now, recognizing my recent diagnosis of Autism is that people deal with life in many different ways mentally. I have an extremely hard time with any sort of change in my life, which is a symptom of Autism and I see varying levels of acceptance to change in others in society. That's hard for some people to comprehend because they don't deal with the same difficulty so I can see how this woman could be upset with the simple fact of change in her daily life. It's not that the learning is difficult, it's just the simple idea of any change at all.

So telling someone to suck it up because you don't understand some of these struggles really isn't an acceptable response, this is actually difficult for some people to deal with and causes an incredible deal of mental stress. If you've ever been incredibly mentally stressed out before, whatever the cause, you know it's not a fun place to be.

Even though I think this is something we should all be trying to accept as we deal with a pandemic, I do understand how she can be upset, depending on how well she deals with change in her life.

Don't be so quick to make a post about someone just to ridicule them because you don't understand.

[Hammerfestus | 3,863]

Nope. She can piss right off.  I’ll bet you when her little egomaniacs are caught torturing neighborhood cats it’s everyone else’s fault.  Or some bullshit pseudo medical condition.

[avatar! | 1,820]

14 minutes ago, Code Monkey said:

Personally I think if someone is educating the next instance of life on this planet, they should be paid at the highest rate society can afford, even higher than doctors. I've always thought that.

I can also say now, recognizing my recent diagnosis of Autism is that people deal with life in many different ways mentally. I have an extremely hard time with any sort of change in my life, which is a symptom of Autism and I see varying levels of acceptance to change in others in society. That's hard for some people to comprehend because they don't deal with the same difficulty so I can see how this woman could be upset with the simple fact of change in her daily life. It's not that the learning is difficult, it's just the simple idea of any change at all.

So telling someone to suck it up because you don't understand some of these struggles really isn't an acceptable response, this is actually difficult for some people to deal with and causes an incredible deal of mental stress. If you've ever been incredibly mentally stressed out before, whatever the cause, you know it's not a fun place to be.

Even though I think this is something we should all be trying to accept as we deal with a pandemic, I do understand how she can be upset, depending on how well she deals with change in her life.

Don't be so quick to make a post about someone just to ridicule them because you don't understand.

I agree with some of what you said, and disagree with other parts.

Look, obviously people all walk different paths and that is how it is. You never truly know what someone is going through. However, to basically admonish not just a teacher but the entire school system because her child didn't have her homeroom teacher? AND, then to act all superior and say she might have to move the family because of this one incident! Forget that, I have no sympathy for this lady. I judge the situation based on what I know and what I can tell. Yes, data is limited, but that is always the case. Seems to me she is being totally arrogant and an asshole parent. Teachers have such insanely hard jobs they don't need all this stress, especially since I am sure this lady went to the news to get her story published and make a mountain out of what is essentially a mole hill. I do honestly admire your attitude. I think you should be commended for trying to be understanding and compassionate, but at some point you have to draw a line and I think this lady crossed it. 

[Nintegageo | 582]

I dunno why but this thread reminded me o a story I read a long time ago and it is hilarious.
 

 

[Bearcat-Doug | 5,105]

That was hilarious! I seriously had to stop reading 4 or 5 times to catch my breath!

[JamesRobot | 5,808]

Holy shit that was funny. 

[B.A. | 1,139]

Whoever says to parents to just "suck it up" must not have elementary aged kids and work full time.   Distance learning is misery for everyone. 

[Tanooki | 4,939]

6 hours ago, B.A. said:

Whoever says to parents to just "suck it up" must not have elementary aged kids and work full time.   Distance learning is misery for everyone. 

Damn right.  My daughter has adhd(hyperactive mind) but also has a serious case of oppositional disorder and coupled to it OCD.  Any form of change welcomes hell from the mouth or whatever she can throw or swing at.  She knows she's doing wrong but seemingly can't control it, a total rat one second, but once calmer is loving upset and sorry about it...or is she?  Sadly we can't tell because it could be part of the act not wanting stuff worse.  Distance learning for the last couplemonths of school before 2nd grade was out was sheer hell.  An hours work could take 2 or 8 to get done and you can guess at the whys on that.

The woman in the article was being a melodramatic bitch going to the press about it.  Yet I'm like in there with avatar middling ground of what code monkey said.  We too had the choice of one, the other, or part day.  She's going to normal school, because she learned basically nothing that last couple months of 2nd grade, and it has ruined trying to work from home around that and family life in general.  Like that woman in the article, even if I can't afford it, I'd find a way to move to another district or school to get my kid in a room where they'll force her to learn and more or less pay attention as home won't work.

[avatar! | 1,820]

On 9/18/2020 at 3:30 PM, B.A. said:

Whoever says to parents to just "suck it up" must not have elementary aged kids and work full time.   Distance learning is misery for everyone. 

By "everyone" you really mean parents.

Teachers have to put up with shit from unruly kids (and parents) ALL the time. I remember giving a talk at a "prestigious" public high school in Cambridge, MA a few years ago. I was giving a talk about research to the Astronomy Club (yeah, nice and geeky I showed up a little early and I saw students teaching introductory physics to a few students. First, I have to say the high school looked great, definitely wealthy. The class was small, and there were I think two teachers and something like 6 students, so a great student-teacher ratio. But, one of the students was swearing up a storm at one teacher, and being such an ass (for lack of a better word) I could not believe it. Afterwards I asked the teachers if this was common behavior, and they said it does happen, but there is nothing they can do but take it. They also added they were hoping that would eventually change, but for the time being such unruly behavior from students or parents was just supposed to be accepted. Is it any wonder there is a huge shortage of qualified teachers in the USA?? Little pay, and you're supposed to suck up to students and parents as they trample on you? Of course there are many students in high school that are wonderful and I'm sure the teachers love to work with them, but just a few asshole students and/or asshole parents can ruin everything. My sympathy is with the teachers who have very little power, little pay, and yet we expect the world from them. 

https://www.epi.org/publication/the-teacher-shortage-is-real-large-and-growing-and-worse-than-we-thought-the-first-report-in-the-perfect-storm-in-the-teacher-labor-market-series/

[Kguillemette | 1,545]

I don't nessisarily blame teachers for struggles with launching the schoolyear remotely. Many of them were never taught how programs like Google classroom meet and zoom. Heck, many of the ones in their late 30s likely never even took an online class, making it unreasonable to expect them to wing together an online learning curriculum for small children. 

That being said, parents are often obligated, under threat of truancy, to ensure their kids are logging in programs daily. It is super frustrating if it is your kid who drew the short straw of having a teacher who is not competent at teaching with these materials like zoom and Google meet. 

And I don't blame the teachers one bit for being asked to do something they have never even seen before and is beyond their skill set. I also empathize with the "asshole parent" that only wants the best for her kid at an age when they be affected academically for years to come. It is a complete lose/lose for all parties.

And on personal level, it is unreasonable to expect me to effectively oversee remote learning for 2 young children while also watching over a 5 year old non verbal autistic child in addition to the extra stress of being a short handed essential worker. After all, putting a roof over my children's head and putting food on the table takes precedence. I'm not in a position to take 10 months off of work right now.

 

[avatar! | 1,820]

18 minutes ago, Kguillemette said:

I also empathize with the "asshole parent" that only wants the best for her kid at an age when they be affected academically for years to come. It is a complete lose/lose for all parties.

Well of course parents want what is best for their kids! I don't think that makes them an asshole in any way. I think the asshole part comes when parents (like the one in the original post) start blaming teachers for everything wrong under the Sun. From what I've read and heard, the notion that teachers are "incompetent" or have "no training or understanding" of online teaching is a myth. Again, I refer you to the original post, where the problem was teacher shortages not teachers being unable to login or anything along those lines. Of course there will be an adjustment period for remote learning, but ultimately this won't solve the problem. Teachers need to be paid more, and honestly I think there should be laws enacted so that students that verbally assault students are removed from class and face consequences such as detention or worse. Same for parents. Once that happens, I do believe the situation will change and that will be a win-win for everyone.

[avatar! | 1,820]

As I said, teachers don't get paid nearly enough...

https://nypost.com/2020/09/18/florida-parents-get-high-drink-during-kids-online-classes/

[Koshkaaa | 2]

Teachers never get paid enough and it affects their behavior, it's so sad. For so many it's a I talk for 45 mins and leave kind of job, instead of educating the next generation, especially important in elementary schools, where the teacher takes on the role of a parent in a way. I've had to deal with policies where classmates have to give/deliver homework to each other while sick and being unwilling to share their class notes with me, a kid with ADHD and dysgraphia, I can't feel too bad for them sometimes (yet i couldn't take my laptop bc it's distracting till my mom pitched a fit, despite my papers telling them they have to let me). Yet I also had incredibly passionate teachers who got me into economics.

Anything outside of those 45 mins is not their problem. Why? You're educating me, you're not a university professor who talks at 2-3 universities in a week YET THEY GIVE GOOD NOTES/PRESENTATIONS ANYWAY. It's such a blessing in uni not to have to take notes religiously with my brain anymore.

This might be an experience from a country from the communist bloc though. I feel like a lot of that mentality of "favors and bribes" is still so strong.

Edited September 20, 2020 by Koshkaaa

[Hammerfestus | 3,863]

As usual in this country everything is always everyone else’s fault.  I didn’t raise little Jeffrey Dahmer.  Must be the teachers or society.  Maybe rock and roll music.

[B.A. | 1,139]

4 hours ago, avatar! said:

By "everyone" you really mean parents.

Cool story bro, too bad it had nothing to do with young elementary aged kids like I said. By everyone I meant young kids, parents and teachers.

[avatar! | 1,820]

3 minutes ago, B.A. said:

Cool story bro, too bad it had nothing to do with young elementary aged kids like I said. By everyone I meant young kids, parents and teachers.

True, my story was not about young elementary aged kids, although some young elementary aged kids certainly treat their teachers like trash. It's not as if they all of a sudden get to high school and have a 180 regarding respect and understanding. But anyway, while distance learning has its challenges for teachers, from what I've read and heard so far teachers are adjusting pretty well, students are adjusting well, parents NOT so well. I do certainly feel for parents that have to go in to work and still have to take care of their kids at the same time. BUT, the truth is many parents are tired and angry they have to put with their kids instead of being able to shove them to school   At least, that is the impression I've gotten. Obviously it doesn't apply to many people, and at the end of this whole mess I personally hope people appreciate what teachers have to go through. 

[fcgamer | 4,730]

I definitely side with the teachers on this one.

Seen it from ten years of teaching myself, saw the progression of things that ultimately led my mom to take an early retirement, etc.

Too many parents think "they know best" for their child, but as soon as everything goes to hell, suddenly it's the teacher's fault.

On the first day of the year, doing something different, the parent should be understanding that something might go wrong. If the problem goes on for months, that's a different story, but we are talking one day. My tax guy and I spoke on zoom a few weeks back, and we had trouble establishing a connection at first, but I didn't sack him over it, lol. Then again, I'm reasonable and know that things happen.

Society would be so much better off without all these asshole parents.

 

[B.A. | 1,139]

10 hours ago, avatar! said:

True, my story was not about young elementary aged kids, although some young elementary aged kids certainly treat their teachers like trash. It's not as if they all of a sudden get to high school and have a 180 regarding respect and understanding. But anyway, while distance learning has its challenges for teachers, from what I've read and heard so far teachers are adjusting pretty well, students are adjusting well, parents NOT so well. I do certainly feel for parents that have to go in to work and still have to take care of their kids at the same time. BUT, the truth is many parents are tired and angry they have to put with their kids instead of being able to shove them to school   At least, that is the impression I've gotten. Obviously it doesn't apply to many people, and at the end of this whole mess I personally hope people appreciate what teachers have to go through. 

Sure, parents struggle with having their kids at home. It's because they have their own jobs where they are underpaid and treated like crap, and now they are expected to be teachers on top of that. 

Distance learning is a joke. A bunch of BS assignments get dumped in an app in the morning, and that's it. A 6 year old is expected to open the app, read the directions, complete the assignments and appropriately save and upload it. They are not "adjusting well", because it's impossible, they can't do it. They learn nothing.

[darkchylde28 | 1,546]

7 hours ago, B.A. said:

Distance learning is a joke. A bunch of BS assignments get dumped in an app in the morning, and that's it. A 6 year old is expected to open the app, read the directions, complete the assignments and appropriately save and upload it. They are not "adjusting well", because it's impossible, they can't do it. They learn nothing.

I beg to differ, as that's obviously not the case everywhere.  While the setup for our school system's remote learning isn't as ideal as we'd like it, remote students most definitely attend classes via video and audio during the day, young and old.  Vague overviews/guidelines are posted in a schedule for the kids to see in the morning, but each link opens a Teams meeting at the appropriate time and nearly all classwork and homework is provided by the teacher telling the kids (and their "learning partners") about it, not some pre-prepared list where kids get no input or interaction.  Either things really suck where you're at or you haven't had any direct exposure to the various setups of remote learning, as I've not heard of anyone I know in any other states where their kids aren't expected to "attend" classes the same as my son does.  As for not learning anything, my son is in Kindergarten and already starting to successfully read simple books and sound out words to figure out even more.  I'd call that a big step up from where we were in the learning process as kids (no reading took place until at least 1st grade) and certainly flies in the face of our school's kids "not adjusting well" or not learning.

[B.A. | 1,139]

4 minutes ago, darkchylde28 said:

I beg to differ, as that's obviously not the case everywhere.  While the setup for our school system's remote learning isn't as ideal as we'd like it, remote students most definitely attend classes via video and audio during the day, young and old.  Vague overviews/guidelines are posted in a schedule for the kids to see in the morning, but each link opens a Teams meeting at the appropriate time and nearly all classwork and homework is provided by the teacher telling the kids (and their "learning partners") about it, not some pre-prepared list where kids get no input or interaction.  Either things really suck where you're at or you haven't had any direct exposure to the various setups of remote learning, as I've not heard of anyone I know in any other states where their kids aren't expected to "attend" classes the same as my son does.  As for not learning anything, my son is in Kindergarten and already starting to successfully read simple books and sound out words to figure out even more.  I'd call that a big step up from where we were in the learning process as kids (no reading took place until at least 1st grade) and certainly flies in the face of our school's kids "not adjusting well" or not learning.

I have 1st and 2nd grade boys. They get zero live interaction with their teachers on distance learning days.  

[darkchylde28 | 1,546]

1 minute ago, B.A. said:

I have 1st and 2nd grade boys. They get zero live interaction with their teachers on distance learning days.  

Sounds like you're either in too small/remote an area to have appropriate infrastructure to support everything or your school system simply wasn't interested in devoting resources the way they should.  If it's the latter, time to vote some new folks in as necessary this year to clean that up for you.  We live in a relatively rural area, in a small po-dunk "city" in the middle of a small po-dunk county amidst a lot of hills, farmland, and highways.  Even with all that, kids third grade and up are issued laptops as part of the regular learning curriculum and our school system used the entire summer to get the remote learning setup that I briefly described in place.  Stuff like what you're describing was more the norm at the end of March when the first lockdowns happened (no actual contact for remote learning, just emails/voicemails to advise when packets were available to be picked up and occasionally our son's teacher posting a video to YouTube of her reading a book for the kids) when they totally weren't prepared.  If I were you I'd be upset at the locals and the local school system and not the overall establishment, as there are more than plenty of school systems, teachers, administrators, IT staff, etc., that have handled this situation admirably given the circumstances and limitations available.