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My New Grading Company


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4 hours ago, SNESNESCUBE64 said:

This is nonsense, grape or blueberry koolaid is what you should be using!

@CasualCart is a long standing community member who knows his kool-aid.

DISCLAIMER: He has sent me artwork as bribery and acknowledged my existence this one time, so I must therefor advise you I am biased.

 

While no flavor is perfect, a simple google search will tell you that cherry flavor (Benzaldehyde) has an optimal balance of low UV refractive index and natural gamma ray radiation resistance properties.

Also, If you put grape and blueberry on the color spectrum you can clearly see they’re closer to the ultraviolet spectrum meaning they also are susceptible to systemic di-photonic intradepigmentation of the IR color spectrum.

The chromatic aberration artifacts found in other flavors closer to the IR spectrum such as Tropical Punch are also too high to consider, while middle ground flavors like Lemonade have antisputtering anomalies that effectively randomize the estimated length of preservation.

 

 

Simply put, cherry is the correct flavor of choice when you want to preserve your games. As long as you have a running freezer your games might outlive the heat death of the universe.

Also, as a cartridge, CasualCart is not human and therefor not prone to human error.

Edited by ThePhleo
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Graphics Team · Posted

Sorry for the late response to all of you wonderful game-grading enthusiasts. But fear not, I'm here to answer all of your Frequently-Asked-Questions!

 

1 ) Can the Cherry Kool-Aid be substituted for your frozen beverage of choice? ( @JamesRobot, @Makar, @SNESNESCUBE64 )

---I just looked in my pantry, and unfortunately Cherry Kool-Aid is the one and only option.

 

2 ) Are refunds available for nibbled encasements? ( @Reed Rothchild )

---All slabbed games will be subject to taste-testing before return-shipment. Game-encasements may or may not see significant nibble-damage in direct proportion to how hungry I am during processing. No refunds ever.

 

3 ) Do pre-soaked games get a grade-boost? ( @The Strangest )

---The grading algorithm for games that have already been domestically kool-aid treated is as follows: 

             [base grade] + [flavor bonus] - [mold cultivation] = [final grade]

 

4 ) Will the CCGA be partnering with Heritage Auctions? ( @SilverspoonGaming )

---The CCGA will be establishing its own auction-house in order to corner the market maintain quality-assurance.

 

5 ) How long was the production-period on this sophisticated promotional video-advertisement? ( @JinxtheCat )

---Like a day, I think.

 

6 ) "I don't understand the Kool-Aid." - @Code Monkey

---It doesn't understand you either, dude.

 

7 ) What was the CCGA's last recorded sale-price of a Kool-Aid encased Left-Bros. Mario 3? ( @DaddyMulk )

---Unfortunately, the CCGA is not currently grading NES games. As of 2021, we are only catering the the most popular and in-demand systems: the Bandai WonderSwan and AtGames Plug-N-Plays. However, in 2022 we will be expanding our services to also include games for the "Steam".

 

8 ) When will this highly-esteemed grading company begin offering its services? ( @DarkTone )

---Maybe tomorrow afternoon. I have to go get groceries first, though.

 

9 ) Will population reports be made public?

---Go get your own population reports, you dirty parasites.

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