the_wizard_666 | 1,325 Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 Like the title says. I loathe Christmas. The noise, the stress, the idiots that seem to come out of the woodwork...but god forbid I voice my displeasure, because I'm "not in the spirit" or some such nonsense. Is it too much to want to be left alone? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sumez | 2,995 Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 Yes 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gloves | 11,843 Administrator · Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 Honestly it's almost always self-inflicted. You as an adult have the ability to spin basically anything holiday-wise into something you enjoy. My wife and I enjoy a subset of Christmas movies, I usually decorate the apartment as a surprise for her while she's at the office, present-wise typically I get a game or two and we focus primarily on candy and chocolate in stockings (never really spending too much overall). For Christmas dinner we always order in Chinese food. If there's idiots coming out of the woodwork, remove them from your life. If you hate holiday songs in stores, wear headphones while you shop (or shop online). If you wanna be left alone - just... stay alone? My wife and I pretty much 100% just enjoy the winter holidays independently, together. Like my best buds Rudolph and Hermey: 3 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkTone | 988 Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 I've lost and nearly lost family around Christmas. Not the biggest fan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renmauzo | 1,205 Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 I understand. I feel like there are too many people in the world who put emphasis on the wrong beats where Christmas is concerned, and I wholeheartedly agree with @Glovesthat you have the power to make it what you will; often times, being miserable is a choice. That said, I do understand. I get a little crazy with the cleaning and wanting everything to look and feel perfect even though my parents, my aunt, my brothers and sister, sister in law, and the kids are all super chill and everyone insists I take it easy and enjoy myself. I've discovered - about myself - that, in the pursuit of the perfect holiday moment and memory, I've tended to risk losing the point. In the end, the drinks come out, the board games come out, the food is awesome, and we laugh 'till it hurts into the wee hours of the morning for Christmas and the days that follow. In the end, it's what you make of it. Some things will be within your control while others won't, but by and large, you call the shots. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_wizard_666 | 1,325 Posted December 23, 2022 Author Share Posted December 23, 2022 (edited) 13 minutes ago, Gloves said: Honestly it's almost always self-inflicted. You as an adult have the ability to spin basically anything holiday-wise into something you enjoy. My wife and I enjoy a subset of Christmas movies, I usually decorate the apartment as a surprise for her while she's at the office, present-wise typically I get a game or two and we focus primarily on candy and chocolate in stockings (never really spending too much overall). For Christmas dinner we always order in Chinese food. If there's idiots coming out of the woodwork, remove them from your life. If you hate holiday songs in stores, wear headphones while you shop (or shop online). If you wanna be left alone - just... stay alone? My wife and I pretty much 100% just enjoy the winter holidays independently, together. Like my best buds Rudolph and Hermey: I'm constantly stressed as it is. If it were up to me, I would stay alone, but I don't have that option, though I've chosen self isolation on multiple occasions. Last year happened to be the best Christmas ever. Also the first Christmas I wasn't around my parents. I miss that separation - I was literally able to say "fuck it" and had no worries. I loved it. Now I'm back in the shitstorm again. Ugh. 10 minutes ago, DarkTone said: I've lost and nearly lost family around Christmas. Not the biggest fan. I got a text today. Old pic of my Grandpa dressed as Santa. He died 12 years ago today. Not what I wanted to wake up to. Edited December 23, 2022 by the_wizard_666 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a3quit4s | 4,127 Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 I like it better since I have a son now. He loves it of course so it kind of puts me in the mood I guess. Before him I was pretty whatever about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_wizard_666 | 1,325 Posted December 23, 2022 Author Share Posted December 23, 2022 9 minutes ago, a3quit4s said: I like it better since I have a son now. He loves it of course so it kind of puts me in the mood I guess. Before him I was pretty whatever about it. My nieces are the only reason I get out of bed on Christmas. And some years even that doesn't make it happen, though that's got less to do with the season and more to do with manic depression Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Morbis | 2,092 Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 If you can't escape something, then you have two options: embrace it or hate it. A lot of the "issues" that we deal with in life, especially for those of us who live in first-world countries and don't even know what real issues are, are 90% inside our heads. Life is mostly what you make of it, and if you want to spend your time feeling miserable, no one's really going to be able to stop you, I guess. But remember this: if you have a roof over your head and a warm bed to sleep on and enough food to keep you going and a family that loves you, then you're already miles ahead of a lot of the poor chaps in this world. So yeah, if you want to live your life focusing on the negatives, well that's entirely on you... Merry Christmas, by the way!!! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_wizard_666 | 1,325 Posted December 23, 2022 Author Share Posted December 23, 2022 1 minute ago, Dr. Morbis said: If you can't escape something, then you have two options: embrace it or hate it. A lot of the "issues" that we deal with in life, especially for those of us who live in first-world countries and don't even know what real issues are, are 90% inside our heads. Life is mostly what you make of it, and if you want to spend your time feeling miserable, no one's really going to be able to stop you, I guess. But remember this: if you have a roof over your head and a warm bed to sleep on and enough food to keep you going and a family that loves you, then you're already miles ahead of a lot of the poor chaps in this world. So yeah, if you want to live your life focusing on the negatives, well that's entirely on you... Merry Christmas, by the way!!! You too man. I guess the root is stress...it's not that I hate Christmas, it's just that I have a hard time coping with being alive, so adding extra bullshit on top makes it much more difficult for me. Honestly, I'd just curl up in bed and not get out for the next few days if I could. It's just too damn much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiztor | 855 Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 i hate this time of year too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gloves | 11,843 Administrator · Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 2 minutes ago, the_wizard_666 said: You too man. I guess the root is stress...it's not that I hate Christmas, it's just that I have a hard time coping with being alive, so adding extra bullshit on top makes it much more difficult for me. Honestly, I'd just curl up in bed and not get out for the next few days if I could. It's just too damn much. I'll never tell a depressed person that I know how they feel as it varies so wildly, but I will say at the least that I've been there. I used to hate Christmas, and basically any holiday, especially those which involved gift-giving. Growing up my parents were quick to punish at any chance, and you might think that a day like my birthday which is designated "Doug day!" would excite me for the rare time to receive gifts and love, but I grew to see it as more like a trap - too much excitement and I'm back to punished mode, and that often was exacerbated by the gifts. Typically the punishments were denying me my stuff, or my freedom - my Game Boy might be taken away for months at a time, or I might have to stand staring at a wall for an inordinate amount of time, or sit at the dinner table for multiple days at a time (with breaks for sleep, hurrah...). An excited young me with ADHD and some new toys often meant that "Ok Douglas it's time to put that away and do clean up the birthday mess" quickly turned into "I said NOW, guess what you've just LOST that gift we were SO looking forward to you having!". Depressing and triggering anecdotes aside, in my adult life I've learned to look at the present and future. Spending time with my wife is the best time I can have, I love hanging out together no matter what it is we're doing, and she made Christmas and my birthday enjoyable again. It started small, we watched movies from HER childhood which I'd never seen before (Christmas Story, National Lampoon) and suddenly the nostalgia I felt for the movies from my own childhood paled in comparison to the warmth I feel with her - I finally feel welcomed into and part of something new. I don't claim to have some miracle fix for depression, nobody does. It's often a healthy mix of exercise, medicine, and if you can find it - love and support. More often than not, unfortunately, each of these require a first step from the one suffering and that's incredibly difficult. You don't have to jump today to loving Christmas, you don't have to ever love it specifically, but over time you need to find love for yourself and prioritize you. For some, words from a stranger on the internet are hollow, but I see no harm in sharing what I can in the hope that it has some impact - so just know that at the least I appreciate your existence. We don't all have to get along or agree all the time, I prefer we not, but I love everyone here on VGS like an extended family and that's you too. If you or anyone ever need to talk openly and honestly about depression, vent, share, cry... I'm here in whatever capacity you need as long as I can supply it. To you and anyone else in that situation please feel free to reach out to me privately via PM for support. 1 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Code Monkey | 2,014 Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 I love Christmas but it's also what you decide to make of it. I think you may find some benefit discussing this in the same way with your doctor. After being diagnosed myself with a mental illness, I realise just how common mental illness is in our society and how we should all be that much more accommodating when dealing with someone when we don't know what their story is. You may have anxiety or depression which is not something you can control, nor fix without medication to re-balance the chemistry in your body. I hope you get whatever help it is you need and I may just be one person but I can tell you I thought you were nice and pleasant to hang out with. If you give yourself a chance, others will do the same. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMR | 522 Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 I like the holidays and want it to be something to look forward to, but instead of it being a time of relaxation and fun it always seems to become tiresome and a chore. Work seems to want to punish you for two months because of two or three days you're getting off, and I don't really care for gift giving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FireHazard51 | 2,053 Social Team · Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 1 hour ago, the_wizard_666 said: Like the title says. I loathe Christmas. The noise, the stress, the idiots that seem to come out of the woodwork...but god forbid I voice my displeasure, because I'm "not in the spirit" or some such nonsense. Is it too much to want to be left alone? You live in Canada. How bad could you have it? Not like you live a country that is worried that there is a war on Christmas so there are idiots going out of there way to make sure the "culture war" isn't lost to people saying, "Happy holidays." There are a lot of people who aren't cherry about Christmas. You just need to be with those kinds of people. If you go by music songs I'd say punk rockers are the best bet to find your people Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeatherRebel5150 | 1,056 Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 1 hour ago, the_wizard_666 said: You too man. I guess the root is stress...it's not that I hate Christmas, it's just that I have a hard time coping with being alive, so adding extra bullshit on top makes it much more difficult for me. Honestly, I'd just curl up in bed and not get out for the next few days if I could. It's just too damn much. I’m not going to try and pretend I know what your going through or what it feels like. But what you described sounds more like the symptoms of straight depression rather than something that’s particular to this time of year. Hope you get through it man, Ive seen a few friends spiral pretty bad and it always seemed to start with hating fairly innocuous things like that. You may want to try and find someone to talk to. Seriously, take care of yourself man. No one can make it happen but you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_wizard_666 | 1,325 Posted December 24, 2022 Author Share Posted December 24, 2022 1 hour ago, LeatherRebel5150 said: I’m not going to try and pretend I know what your going through or what it feels like. But what you described sounds more like the symptoms of straight depression rather than something that’s particular to this time of year. Hope you get through it man, Ive seen a few friends spiral pretty bad and it always seemed to start with hating fairly innocuous things like that. You may want to try and find someone to talk to. Seriously, take care of yourself man. No one can make it happen but you. I'm bipolar. Specifically, Bipolar II, rapid cycling, with psychotic tendencies. I'm honestly more afraid of what happens after the depression than anything. Though this is definitely seasonal and not anything related to that, as my Facebook memories can attest. I think just getting away from it last year just has me longing for silence this year. Or maybe I'm just a grumpy old man yelling at kids to get off my lawn, I dunno. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tulpa | 3,537 Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 Seasonal depression is a thing. This time of year with the shorter days and longer nights can wreck havoc on people's brain chemistry, especially further north where the day/night differential is more pronounced. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_wizard_666 | 1,325 Posted December 24, 2022 Author Share Posted December 24, 2022 4 minutes ago, Tulpa said: Seasonal depression is a thing. This time of year with the shorter days and longer nights can wreck havoc on people's brain chemistry, especially further north where the day/night differential is more pronounced. Except I sleep most of the daylight hours away whenever possible, and avoid leaving the house more than necessary. If anything, I'm seeing more sunshine now than at any other time of year Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackVega | 583 Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 1 hour ago, the_wizard_666 said: I'm honestly more afraid of what happens after the depression than anything. What happens after depression is sunshine and peace of mind. This is just your state of mind as the human brain absolutely hates going out of the comfort zone and always tries to keep it at the current state. Just wait this over and you will see Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_wizard_666 | 1,325 Posted December 24, 2022 Author Share Posted December 24, 2022 18 minutes ago, BlackVega said: What happens after depression is sunshine and peace of mind. This is just your state of mind as the human brain absolutely hates going out of the comfort zone and always tries to keep it at the current state. Just wait this over and you will see Did you miss the part about bipolar disorder, and psychotic episodes... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Morbis | 2,092 Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 8 minutes ago, the_wizard_666 said: Did you miss the part about bipolar disorder, and psychotic episodes... Aren't your meds supposed to level those out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tulpa | 3,537 Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 1 hour ago, the_wizard_666 said: Except I sleep most of the daylight hours away whenever possible, and avoid leaving the house more than necessary. If anything, I'm seeing more sunshine now than at any other time of year You ever stop and think that you might be a vampire? They hate Christmas, too. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PII | 1,899 Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 (edited) I used to have a close friend who hated Christmas time, ( or ¡CHRI-MUS TAHM! , as I like to call it.) He had grown up with 2 REALLY messed up parents, one of whom he rarely saw and he never got anything for Christmas; literally, ever. Since we were best buds and I was welcome 24-7-365, I took the opportunity to pelt him with gifts and good food and non-stop laughers for a day or two, basically insisting that his bad luck in this regard was all the more reason that he deserved more than anyone to finally be Happy this time of year. Honestly, it may not have worked as well as it did if I had been someone he liked less. My point being, that hopefully there is someone you know who can show you a good time if you're in need of a little help that way. Everyone else has already pointed out that you may need to make a very conscious and deliberate decision to let yourself be happy this time of year and I agree with that, but I also know that sometimes that can be a lot easier said than done, and in those times it helps to find one person who can be an appropriate crutch for you. Failing that, one thing I used to do if I had no where to go and no one to be with on Christmas Day was to go somewhere normally choked full of people that would be wonderfully empty on Christmas Day. I used to ride a bicycle like a crazy man all over what would have been crazy busy streets any other day and just go and explore those places for a day without having to deal with anyone at all. It was fun and made me feel free. Something I still do regardless is wait for the coldest, windiest, snowiest damn day and get appropriately bundled and have a nice long walk... Not really sure what you mean by "idiots that seem to come out of the woodwork." It's always been my experience that the general public seem to get into increasingly better moods as the Holliday approaches and then get really sour after New Year's for a couple of months. So I usually go out a lot in late fall and early winter. Nothing better than a nice crowded drinking burrow. The same places will suck in summer as almost no one is there and the few who are, aren't happy that they are the only ones not doing outdoor stuff. But in Winter people get cabin fever and need that human social buzz that comes with a little night life and it tends to make them a lot more friendly in my opinion. A nice quiet Irish bar on Christmas Eve was another preferred habit of mine at one time, along with a hot kidney pie and tall glass of Guinness. At any rate, what works for one, may or may not work for another. Whatever you do, don't let yourself wallow. Whether it's in or out, with someone or alone; find something to do that makes you feel happy or gives you some hope or at the very least makes life suck a bit less. Edited December 24, 2022 by PII 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_wizard_666 | 1,325 Posted December 24, 2022 Author Share Posted December 24, 2022 1 hour ago, Dr. Morbis said: Aren't your meds supposed to level those out? They are. But with all the tweaking I've had to do to the mix, it's a process. Also just had some blood work done, so hopefully that doesn't necessitate another change. Cuz if my meds are killing my kidneys, I know what is going first Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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