Hooking up with married women.

[Richardhead | 2,835]

36 minutes ago, Bearcat-Doug said:

Speaking from experience, not only will she cheat, she will cheat with her ex that she cheated on the first time.

I can’t even get my ex that cheated to talk to me anymore. Let alone cheat on the new guy with me. 
I’d be all in though.

[Reed Rothchild | 9,599]

2 minutes ago, Richardhead said:

I can’t even get my ex that cheated to talk to me anymore. Let alone cheat on the new guy with me. 
I’d be all in though.

Cheat-ception

[Bearcat-Doug | 5,105]

1 hour ago, Richardhead said:

I can’t even get my ex that cheated to talk to me anymore. Let alone cheat on the new guy with me. 
I’d be all in though.

Not gonna lie, it was actually better when we knew that the hookups were just that and we would do our business and return to our own lives in the morning.

[Bearcat-Doug | 5,105]

1 hour ago, Richardhead said:

That’s actually not a bad idea. One of the ladies is actually a grandmother, and she has a kid that’s my age.

I hang out at Hooters. I know nothing about picking up older women outside of they like bingo.

[Strange | 1,702]

I’ve been in this situation twice. Neither ended well.

(I haven’t read any of this thread except the OP, idk what all has been said so far or where we’re at in the conversation atm)

[Tyree_Cooper | 777]

On 8/18/2023 at 2:35 AM, Khromak said:

I'd love to see a progressive system like % of your income as a fine, to further punish rich people for flagrantly violating laws, but to say that things affecting poor people more than rich people is inherently unfair goes a bit far, IMO.

fyi, this is already the case in switzerland, for speeding fines over a certain speed. it is not mandatory, but the judge can decide to fine you a percentage of your income. i know this from almost personal experience. other countries seem to have similar laws, i heard finland (but i can't confirm).

[fcgamer | 4,759]

38 minutes ago, Tyree_Cooper said:

fyi, this is already the case in switzerland, for speeding fines over a certain speed. it is not mandatory, but the judge can decide to fine you a percentage of your income. i know this from almost personal experience. other countries seem to have similar laws, i heard finland (but i can't confirm).

That's awesome, seems like it would be a much better method.

[JamesRobot | 5,842]

Well I'm convinced.  Might as well start cheating with all those other cheaters out there.

[Link | 2,747]

On 8/19/2023 at 6:11 PM, Bearcat-Doug said:

Not gonna lie, it was actually better when we knew that the hookups were just that and we would do our business and return to our own lives in the morning.

Wait are you "the new guy"?  

[Bearcat-Doug | 5,105]

6 hours ago, Link said:

Wait are you "the new guy"?  

No way. I was suggesting that unattached hookups with no other expectations are far less stressful.

[CIB_Wholesale | 418]

 poor dudes have to get unknowing cooties how is that attractive

Edited August 24, 2023 by CIB_Wholesale

[Richardhead | 2,835]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-ECowjIAJDA&pp=ygUbd2hvbGUgbG90dGEgd29tYW4gc2FtIGNvb2tl

[Richardhead | 2,835]

Tonight is a rough night for me. 
Sam Cooke sums it all up for me. 
I am realizing I have an addiction to women.

Unfortunately, the women I’m into are married. 
I am a fucking romantic at heart. But in reality I’m nothing more than a home wrecker . 

[Richardhead | 2,835]

On 8/24/2023 at 7:48 AM, CIB_Wholesale said:

 poor dudes have to get unknowing cooties how is that attractive

These “poor dudes” haven’t been getting cooties from their wives.

[Bearcat-Doug | 5,105]

7 hours ago, Richardhead said:

Tonight is a rough night for me. 
Sam Cooke sums it all up for me. 
I am realizing I have an addiction to women.

Unfortunately, the women I’m into are married. 
I am a fucking romantic at heart. But in reality I’m nothing more than a home wrecker . 

You really should get on the ball about seeing a counselor or going to a support group. You have recognized that you have a problem, so it's important to do something about it soon or it's just going to continue to spiral out of control.

[Richardhead | 2,835]

2 hours ago, Bearcat-Doug said:

You really should get on the ball about seeing a counselor or going to a support group. You have recognized that you have a problem, so it's important to do something about it soon or it's just going to continue to spiral out of control.

So here’s the deal. I do see a therapist weekly. It’s an hour every Wednesday morning. We have briefly talked about this thing I have going on. She feels I have deeper issues to work through before we even touch on that subject. Something about depression and self loathing. She tells me I should keep doing the things that make me happy until they don’t and I find something else to make me happy. I don’t see it the way she sees it. But she’s the doctor right?

I am in the process of taking some steps to get out of one of these “relationships”. But it’s harder than most people would think.
This may be surprising, but I am very empathetic. I have a hard time hurting people, and this chick is in a bad spot right now. She confides in me a lot. Needs a lot from me emotionally. Unfortunately I seem to absorb peoples depression/pain, and it just fucking sits with me for a long time. 
 

 

[Bearcat-Doug | 5,105]

33 minutes ago, Richardhead said:

She feels I have deeper issues to work through before we even touch on that subject. Something about depression and self loathing.

That's the main thing and I've been told that as well. Usually the negative behavior is caused by a combination of underlying depression, boredom, etc and the resulting pleasure/excitement you get from it as opposed to an actual desire to do whatever it is that you're doing. It's a process that's different for everyone, but if you really want to change, you can do it eventually if you commit to it.

Edited August 27, 2023 by Bearcat-Doug

[CIB_Wholesale | 418]

10 hours ago, Richardhead said:

These “poor dudes” haven’t been getting cooties from their wives.

i think you said it best. their wives

 

once they are divorced you can get them

 

the best advice here is as follows:

 

you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you cant pick your friends nose

[BlackVega | 583]

At this point it's not asking for help but flexing about sleeping with 1000 cougars. My goodness what has this place become???

[Richardhead | 2,835]

6 minutes ago, BlackVega said:

At this point it's not asking for help but flexing about sleeping with 1000 cougars. My goodness what has this place become???

Not what I’m trying to convey here.

I have got some solid advice from this community on some serious life issues. I come here for advice because there are like minded people. I could go to Reddit and flex for the whole internet world to see. But I choose this place instead. 
I am definitely not “flexing” about sleeping with cougars. I’m 42 years old and I have women issues. These ladies are definitely not cougars.
I’m a lonely guy that loves 2 things. Video games and women.

Don’t let my posts lead you to question what this place has become. I’ve been here from the beginning and a lot of these people here have helped me through some tough times. 
 

This place can be whatever you want it to be. 

 

[spacepup | 2,412]

I'm glad to hear you are already getting some professional help and that you've discussed the issue.  I wonder though, do they have complete information about the particular 'things' that make you happy when they say "keep doing what makes you happy?"

I mean, broadly speaking, it may be decent advice, but if what makes someone happy is stealing narcotics from the pharmacy every other week and selling them to minors, it is, well, bad advice in that context.

I'm not trying to equate that situation with yours, but merely stating that "do what makes you happy" is a sorta complicated piece of advice.  In reality, obviously anyone can do so, but with potential consequences based on the action.

It sounds like there are some deeper issues as you've discussed, and that is understandable.  But it sounds like your coping mechanisms for dealing with those issues, involve other people and potentially hurting them.  I hope that you can continue to work with your counselor about developing other mechanisms for managing with those addictions and challenges, that are less likely to involve or hurt others.

I'm glad to see you acknowledge here that you do believe you have such an addiction, when earlier in the thread you stated you didn't.  That shows some self-reflection and analysis, and admitting the reality of the situation.  Being addicted to something doesn't make you a bad person - a lot of people struggle with addiction - but it is a constant battle of managing those addictions and working on improving yourself, as well as developing some other coping mechanisms.  And taking personal responsibility for one's actions and consequences as a result of addiction, is also important.

Working on this 'problem' is not going to be easy.  Of course it's complicated.  You basically have emotional and/or physical relationships with multiple people, and you can't just 'fix' that situation in a day.  But I do think it's important that you work on the situation, because you know this is heading for trouble and you posting here about it reveals just that.

[Kguillemette | 1,547]

5 hours ago, Richardhead said:

So here’s the deal. I do see a therapist weekly. It’s an hour every Wednesday morning. We have briefly talked about this thing I have going on. She feels I have deeper issues to work through before we even touch on that subject. Something about depression and self loathing. She tells me I should keep doing the things that make me happy until they don’t and I find something else to make me happy. I don’t see it the way she sees it. But she’s the doctor right?

I am in the process of taking some steps to get out of one of these “relationships”. But it’s harder than most people would think.
This may be surprising, but I am very empathetic. I have a hard time hurting people, and this chick is in a bad spot right now. She confides in me a lot. Needs a lot from me emotionally. Unfortunately I seem to absorb peoples depression/pain, and it just fucking sits with me for a long time. 
 

 

Keep in mind you can always change therapists if you don't click with the one you have now. You know in your gut if she's right when she says you have issues with depression and self loathing. Maybe she is. Maybe not so much and those aren't the issues you need work on. Therapy did wonders for me in a short period of time, so I encourage you to take note of your progress. Hopefully you and your therapist is a good fit.

[Murray | 2,450]

6 hours ago, Richardhead said:

So here’s the deal. I do see a therapist weekly. It’s an hour every Wednesday morning. We have briefly talked about this thing I have going on. She feels I have deeper issues to work through before we even touch on that subject. Something about depression and self loathing. She tells me I should keep doing the things that make me happy until they don’t and I find something else to make me happy. I don’t see it the way she sees it. But she’s the doctor right?

I am in the process of taking some steps to get out of one of these “relationships”. But it’s harder than most people would think.
This may be surprising, but I am very empathetic. I have a hard time hurting people, and this chick is in a bad spot right now. She confides in me a lot. Needs a lot from me emotionally. Unfortunately I seem to absorb peoples depression/pain, and it just fucking sits with me for a long time. 
 

 

Is she married?

[JamesRobot | 5,842]

On 8/16/2023 at 9:17 PM, Richardhead said:

I am in the best shape of my life.

Did you get a Bowflex?  Are you in a band?

 

[Bearcat-Doug | 5,105]

54 minutes ago, JamesRobot said:

Did you get a Bowflex?  Are you in a band?

 

He didn't say what kind of shape. Round is a shape.