Richardhead | 2,825 Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 (edited) I was cheated on aboot 10 years ago while married. It completely wrecked my life. I somehow almost immediately hooked up with a chick that seemingly was going to be “the one”. That went on for aboot 8 years. It was amazing. Then covid happened and we grew apart. It ended amicably. We are still friends even. Now here I am, over the age of 40 and I have a problem. All of the women I am into are married. They tell me stories of abuse and neglect. While I know every story had 3 sides, I choose to only take their word for it. I am currently sleeping with 3 married women. None of them care that I’m with the others. At least for now… I am definitely afraid of all of these women’s husbands. One is a body builder, one is an ex cop and the other is just a psychopath. I just can’t seem to help myself. They are all very attractive and I’ve known them all for a very long time. I’m posting this here because I don’t know what to do, and you guys/gals have had some pretty good advice for me in the past. I feel like this shit is spiraling out of control. I never meant for any of this to go down the way it has. Am I a dumbass or just very confused ? Edit: I love all three of these women. All have been good friends for a long time. Edited August 17, 2023 by Richardhead 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesRobot | 5,838 Events Team · Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 2 minutes ago, Richardhead said: Am I a dumbass or just very confused ? Can we get a poll? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richardhead | 2,825 Posted August 17, 2023 Author Share Posted August 17, 2023 4 minutes ago, JamesRobot said: Can we get a poll? Poll added. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearcat-Doug | 5,105 Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 5 minutes ago, Richardhead said: I was cheated on aboot 10 years ago while married. It completely wrecked my life. I somehow almost immediately hooked up with a chick that seemingly was going to be “the one”. That went on for aboot 8 years. It was amazing. Then covid happened and we grew apart. It ended amicably. We are still friends even. Now here I am, over the age of 40 and I have a problem. All of the women I am into are married. They tell me stories of abuse and neglect. While I know every story had 3 sides, I choose to only take their word for it. I am currently sleeping with 3 married women. None of them care that I’m with the others. At least for now… I am definitely afraid of all of these women’s husbands. One is a body builder, one is an ex cop and the other is just a psychopath. I just can’t seem to help myself. They are all very attractive and I’ve known them all for a very long time. I’m posting this here because I don’t know what to do, and you guys/gals have had some pretty good advice for me in the past. I feel like this shit is spiraling out of control. I never meant for any of this to go down the way it has. Am I a dumbass or just very confused ? It sounds like you're confused and it has led you to make some less than wise choices which has resulted in a mess for sure. I guess the best suggestion I would have is to try and cut things off with all three women and try to find someone single, which probably is easier said than done depending on how attached they may have gotten. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richardhead | 2,825 Posted August 17, 2023 Author Share Posted August 17, 2023 3 minutes ago, Bearcat-Doug said: It sounds like you're confused and it has led you to make some less than wise choices which has resulted in a mess for sure. I guess the best suggestion I would have is to try and cut things off with all three women and try to find someone single, which probably is easier said than done depending on how attached they may have gotten. Thanks Doug. When single, I do a lot of questionable things with all kinds of questionable women. This time has been extra fucked up. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearcat-Doug | 5,105 Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 Just now, Richardhead said: Thanks Doug. When single, I do a lot of questionable things with all kinds of questionable women. This time has been extra fucked up. You need to get your mind right first. I can relate to doing dumb stuff when my head wasn't in a good place, so that's definitely where you need to start IMO. Have you considered counseling or a support group? There's nothing wrong with seeking professional help if you are seeing a pattern. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richardhead | 2,825 Posted August 17, 2023 Author Share Posted August 17, 2023 1 minute ago, Bearcat-Doug said: You need to get your mind right first. I can relate to doing dumb stuff when my head wasn't in a good place, so that's definitely where you need to start IMO. Have you considered counseling or a support group? There's nothing wrong with seeking professional help if you are seeing a pattern. My problem is that I’m happy. I have a new job that I love, I like all of these women and I have an awesome cat. I couldn’t ask for much more in life. I do see a therapist. This issue has been on the back burner. I’ll try to bump it up in importance though. It’s not gotten bad until recently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearcat-Doug | 5,105 Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Richardhead said: My problem is that I’m happy. I have a new job that I love, I like all of these women and I have an awesome cat. I couldn’t ask for much more in life. I do see a therapist. This issue has been on the back burner. I’ll try to bump it up in importance though. It’s not gotten bad until recently. It would be best to talk to someone asap and figure out a way to get out of this situation before one of the husbands finds out and things go really sideways. Edited August 17, 2023 by Bearcat-Doug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesRobot | 5,838 Events Team · Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 1 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNESNESCUBE64 | 554 Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 Was cheated on and it messed your life up, but are sleeping with married women. Ironic. I'm not going to sugarcoat this or anything. If you are deathly afraid of these husbands, be ready for nonsense. If they are what you say they are, they WILL try to hurt you or even worse (hell they might even if completely sane). Like what happened to you, it unravels a whole life and screws everyone over. The thing about cheating, is that it is shitty all around. It's one thing if you didn't know, but you are willingly and knowingly sleeping with married women, that's on you. Also remember, it is easy for you to hide it, but it is a lot harder for them to hide the affair. It's not a matter of if they find out, it's a matter of when. I'd break it off. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richardhead | 2,825 Posted August 17, 2023 Author Share Posted August 17, 2023 1 minute ago, Bearcat-Doug said: It would be best to talk to someone asap and figure out the best way to get out of this situation before one of the husbands finds out and things go really sideways. Yeah well… it’s to late for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearcat-Doug | 5,105 Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 Just now, Richardhead said: Yeah well… it’s to late for that. Well, if you already got busted it would be a good idea to definitely let that one go first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richardhead | 2,825 Posted August 17, 2023 Author Share Posted August 17, 2023 1 minute ago, Bearcat-Doug said: Well, if you already got busted it would be a good idea to definitely let that one go first. I know you’re right. But that shit is hard to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesRobot | 5,838 Events Team · Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 I voted dumbass. Not based on current events though. Seriously though, you're playing with fire. See if you can hook up with a hippie chick from the grocery store and settle it down just a bit before some crazy shit happens. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearcat-Doug | 5,105 Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 1 minute ago, Richardhead said: I know you’re right. But that shit is hard to do. I'm sure it is. That's where getting some help might be a good idea. You have gotten yourself in a mess that will only get worse if you don't do something. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrWunderful | 2,927 Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 Do whatever makes you feel good but don’t surprised if you run into negative repercussions. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richardhead | 2,825 Posted August 17, 2023 Author Share Posted August 17, 2023 1 minute ago, MrWunderful said: Do whatever makes you feel good but don’t surprised if you run into negative repercussions. I’ve already had some negative repercussions from all of this. It’s not fun at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PII | 1,898 Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 Those women are all willing to cheat on their husbands with you. That means that any one of them you might stick with for something serious WILL cheat on you. Find your own girl. ... and I keep thinking of this conversation: Dr. Frank: "I was going through a very difficult time back then, grappling with my personal demons!" Dave: Oh yeah, what kind of personal demons?! Dr. Frank: ...... .....S-...Sexual .....addiction. Dave: Sorry I'm from Wisconsin, is that the same as 'gettin' a lot?' Honestly it sounds like you need to spend some serious time in thought provoking solace. That's fancy talk for "Alone." Then find your own girl. Much Love 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearcat-Doug | 5,105 Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 5 minutes ago, Richardhead said: I’ve already had some negative repercussions from all of this. It’s not fun at all. If you're generally happy outside of this mess, just try to think how much better things could be if you remove yourself from the situation and the negativity that has and may continue to come with it. You will be a lot happier without this hanging over you and dealing with the stress that it's causing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richardhead | 2,825 Posted August 17, 2023 Author Share Posted August 17, 2023 7 minutes ago, PII said: Those women are all willing to cheat on their husbands with you. That means that any one of them you might stick with for something serious WILL cheat on you. Find your own girl. ... and I keep thinking of this conversation: Dr. Frank: "I was going through a very difficult time back then, grappling with my personal demons!" Dave: Oh yeah, what kind of personal demons?! Dr. Frank: ...... .....S-...Sexual .....addiction. Dave: Sorry I'm from Wisconsin, is that the same as 'gettin' a lot?' Honestly it sounds like you need to spend some serious time in thought provoking solace. That's fancy talk for "Alone." Then find your own girl. Much Love While I am a fan, I’m not a sec addict. I do unfortunately hate being alone and I love a good woman for companionship. I don’t do online dating so I just talk to the people I know. I do love one of these women. The others are just a place card for when I can’t be with the other one I love. This whole situation might just be the worst thing I’ve ever dealt with. Even worse than my divorce. Thanks for the reply Pii Much love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richardhead | 2,825 Posted August 17, 2023 Author Share Posted August 17, 2023 4 minutes ago, Bearcat-Doug said: If you're generally happy outside of this mess, just try to think how much better things could be if you remove yourself from the situation and the negativity that has and may continue to come with it. You will be a lot happier without this hanging over you and dealing with the stress that it's causing. You have some good logic Doug. I appreciate your words man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearcat-Doug | 5,105 Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 Just now, Richardhead said: You have some good logic Doug. I appreciate your words man! I've done plenty of dumb stuff so I have life experience! Seriously though, hopefully I was able to help you out some. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammerfestus | 3,890 Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 Never mind the whole part about fucking around and finding out; my question here is, isn’t dating 3 women at the same time a shit-ton of work? At 40? That shit sounds horrible. Feelings shmeelings. Cut that down to 1 married woman and take a nap. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richardhead | 2,825 Posted August 17, 2023 Author Share Posted August 17, 2023 2 minutes ago, Bearcat-Doug said: I've done plenty of dumb stuff so I have life experience! Seriously though, hopefully I was able to help you out some. I have a lot of life experience as well. My problem is that when I’m single, I get myself into trouble. I have a very hard time being alone. Loneliness isn’t my favorite feeling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richardhead | 2,825 Posted August 17, 2023 Author Share Posted August 17, 2023 2 minutes ago, Hammerfestus said: Never mind the whole part about fucking around and finding out; my question here is, isn’t dating 3 women at the same time a shit-ton of work? At 40? That shit sounds horrible. Feelings shmeelings. Cut that down to 1 married woman and take a nap. It is a lot of work. But I do enjoy these ladies. While I am over 40, I am also in pretty good shape and I love to get out. I run and or cycle everyday, I eat well and I stopped drinking. My problem is I don’t like being alone. it really sucks for me. I go into a deep depression and shut down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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