So I have a friend..... So I HAD a friend.

[the_wizard_666 | 1,325]

1 hour ago, OptOut said:

It turns out the REAL racist was the racist inside you, all along! 

 

Avenue Q said it best man...everyone's a little bit racist

[Jeevan | 8,914]

I'm a little bit country!

[drxandy | 3,235]

On 4/27/2021 at 8:28 PM, Dr. Morbis said:

Reading between the lines, it seems that his SO started cheating on him, then confessed to a mutual friend, who then kept her confidence and did not disclose this information to him until after it was out in the open.  At least, that's my interpretation.  And one could further speculate that she came out to the mutual friend in the hopes that he would betray her trust and inform him of what was happening so that she would not have to broach the subject herself...

I didn't comment until now because I felt like this might be the case, and if it is then I def would not have an easy time forgiving the dude.

[Dr. Morbis | 2,090]

2 hours ago, drxandy said:

I didn't comment until now because I felt like this might be the case, and if it is then I def would not have an easy time forgiving the dude.

Yeah, I don't think I could forgive him for the simple fact that he chose the wrong-doer over the victim.  If I had two friends and one was wronging the other and told me in confidence, I would tell her straight up that what she was doing was wrong and that I would be informing our mutual friend immediately to prevent him from being further wronged.  Confidentiality be damned, I'm on the side of the victim, not the wrong-doer, all day, every day...  Amen.

Edited April 30, 2021 by Dr. Morbis

[Richardhead | 2,813]

I feel I should answer some of the questions here and give a bit more detail. I did not really come here for advice, as I made my decision months ago. I was going to post about this when it happened but felt I should cool down before doing so.

I do want to thank all of you for your input, even if it was not what I wanted to hear. I have (like many other people) been dealing with a chronic depression my whole life that has very much affected my day to day. I go to a very dark place that nobody ever needs to be in.

With that out of the way, here goes.

First things first, there is NO WAY IN HELL this fucking guy was sleeping with her! He is in his own complicated “relationship” and he is the guy that all the girls want to talk to but not fuck. She is also very much out of his league. I know it sounds mean to say that, but it is what it is.

Here is where it gets real fucked up and I will get a bunch of hate. Her and I are still friends and talk every day. I even have hope that we can work it out one day. I blocked this “friend” every way I could think of, cutting him out of my life is what I needed to do. I do not think a friend should keep this kind of vital information a secret, even if him and her are friends. I knew him first and they are only friends because of me. This all might sound selfish, but that is because it is! I also feel it’s selfish to say “I’m sorry feel this way” instead of just saying “sorry”.

To answer the question of “what I would do in this situation”, I would tell her that either she needs to come forward with her dude or I would do it for her. Probably give her a week to figure it out. That is the right thing to do if you are friends with both people.

As for my relationship, we had been dating for 7 years. I love this chick more than any friend or family member. She has done more for me in the 7 years than anyone ever has in my entire life. She has helped me through some very dark times and has been the reason for being in some dark places. I knew things between us were breaking down and the relationship was not going to survive. I am willing to take 90 percent of the blame for that. I drink to much, I never asked her to marry me, I got complacent over the years, I got lazy and did not follow through on things I wanted to do, the list goes on.

She had good reason to leave me.

Again, thank you all for your responses, it meant a lot to me.

I will be much more responsive to new questions if they arise.