OptOut | 8,889 Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 Everyone's always talking about the Matrix, red pill, blue pill, stay or go... Red pill is an obvious non-starter for me. I hate multi-cultural rave orgies, and no way I'm subsisting on a diet of dank mushrooms and recycled urine. The eventual, inevitable tearing and biting death by metal mandibles doesn't appeal much either, frankly. Blue SEEMS like the better choice upfront, but I'd still have to go to virtual work, pay virtual taxes, and listen to virtual nagging from my virtual significant other. Sigh. So, my idea is the way forward IMO... Purple pill! Take the purple pill, leave the matrix but STAY in the pink goo pod! Imagine the advantages! It's basically a life-long, all expenses paid goo holiday! All day, all you gotta do is wallow in a warm, nutrient rich gloop, having all your earthly needs serviced by an entire city of menacing, but ultimately servile robot overlords! No more early starts, no more scraping by to survive, no more wiping after you go number two! The benefits are endless, frankly. Sure, some might chaff at the loss of personal autonomy, or the potential for boredom, but I'm not so sure... I never used my autonomy for much of anything anyway, and I'd imagine a bunch of those crazy tubes would come in handy for ALL sorts of entertainment options, if you catch my drift... You'd DEFINITELY be able to tune into HBO on ONE of those things, at least! I, for one, WELCOME the pink goo pod! Who's with me?! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH | 4,907 Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 (edited) 11 minutes ago, OptOut said: Everyone's always talking about the Matrix, red pill, blue pill, stay or go... Red pill is an obvious non-starter for me. I hate multi-cultural rave orgies, and no way I'm subsisting on a diet of dank mushrooms and recycled urine. The eventual, inevitable tearing and biting death by metal mandibles doesn't appeal much either, frankly. Blue SEEMS like the better choice upfront, but I'd still have to go to virtual work, pay virtual taxes, and listen to virtual nagging from my virtual significant other. Sigh. So, my idea is the way forward IMO... Purple pill! Take the purple pill, leave the matrix but STAY in the pink goo pod! Imagine the advantages! It's basically a life-long, all expenses paid goo holiday! All day, all you gotta do is wallow in a warm, nutrient rich gloop, having all your earthly needs serviced by an entire city of menacing, but ultimately servile robot overlords! No more early starts, no more scraping by to survive, no more wiping after you go number two! The benefits are endless, frankly. Sure, some might chaff at the loss of personal autonomy, or the potential for boredom, but I'm not so sure... I never used my autonomy for much of anything anyway, and I'd imagine a bunch of those crazy tubes would come in handy for ALL sorts of entertainment options, if you catch my drift... You'd DEFINITELY be able to tune into HBO on ONE of those things, at least! I, for one, WELCOME the pink goo pod! Who's with me?! Do keep in mind that there's no N64 in your goopod. Edited April 9 by RH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptOut | 8,889 Posted April 9 Author Share Posted April 9 Just now, RH said: Do keep in mind that there's no N64 in your goopod. I'm PRETTY sure they've got a metal tube for that too dude... I think one of the ones that attaches in one of your upper-vertebrae! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammerfestus | 3,851 Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 1 hour ago, OptOut said: Everyone's always talking about the Matrix, red pill, blue pill, stay or go... Red pill is an obvious non-starter for me. I hate multi-cultural rave orgies, and no way I'm subsisting on a diet of dank mushrooms and recycled urine. The eventual, inevitable tearing and biting death by metal mandibles doesn't appeal much either, frankly. Blue SEEMS like the better choice upfront, but I'd still have to go to virtual work, pay virtual taxes, and listen to virtual nagging from my virtual significant other. Sigh. So, my idea is the way forward IMO... Purple pill! Take the purple pill, leave the matrix but STAY in the pink goo pod! Imagine the advantages! It's basically a life-long, all expenses paid goo holiday! All day, all you gotta do is wallow in a warm, nutrient rich gloop, having all your earthly needs serviced by an entire city of menacing, but ultimately servile robot overlords! No more early starts, no more scraping by to survive, no more wiping after you go number two! The benefits are endless, frankly. Sure, some might chaff at the loss of personal autonomy, or the potential for boredom, but I'm not so sure... I never used my autonomy for much of anything anyway, and I'd imagine a bunch of those crazy tubes would come in handy for ALL sorts of entertainment options, if you catch my drift... You'd DEFINITELY be able to tune into HBO on ONE of those things, at least! I, for one, WELCOME the pink goo pod! Who's with me?! was this liquor or beer? Internet chuds fantasizing about the matrix and how tough they are. What crap source material to base your self image upon. Philosophy for illiterate people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DefaultGen | 5,407 Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 Wouldn't that just be taking the red pill and deciding to stay in the pod? Why do you need a whole new pill for this? This thread is unbased and fcgamerpilled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reed Rothchild | 9,544 Editorials Team · Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 "Everyone." On 4chan and thedonald maybe I'm sure I'd choose to live the lie and continue to be with my family, rather than wake up with my atrophied baby muscles that leave me unable to climb out of the pod, dooming me to death by goo drowning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fox | 1,667 Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 Remember the machines picked the Matrix to be stuck in 1999 No pandora. No Spotify Just radio playing endless Nu Metal till the end of time That is a very special kind of hell 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptOut | 8,889 Posted April 10 Author Share Posted April 10 I just wanna live in goo, getting fed/jerked off by a robot. Is that a crime?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fox | 1,667 Posted April 10 Share Posted April 10 (edited) 5 minutes ago, OptOut said: I just wanna live in goo, getting fed/jerked off by a robot. Is that a crime?! Quit looking at my search history Opty Edited April 10 by fox 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tulpa | 3,509 Posted April 10 Share Posted April 10 3 minutes ago, OptOut said: I just wanna live in goo, getting fed/jerked off by a robot. Is that a crime?! Wouldn't you rather be a human in the Wall-E world? Seems more appealing. I mean, we're already neck deep in mass consumerism right now. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptOut | 8,889 Posted April 10 Author Share Posted April 10 4 minutes ago, Tulpa said: Wouldn't you rather be a human in the Wall-E world? Seems more appealing. I mean, we're already neck deep in mass consumerism right now. Nah, I think you're missing the wood for the trees with this one. Where's the GOO?! Plus, I wanna be fed like a baby bird by one of these guys: The WALL-E robots are too cute, they don't do it for me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tulpa | 3,509 Posted April 10 Share Posted April 10 21 minutes ago, OptOut said: Nah, I think you're missing the wood for the trees with this one. Where's the GOO?! What do you think they're sucking down in those Big Gulps? It ain't Slimfast, that's for sure. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PII | 1,886 Posted April 10 Share Posted April 10 5 hours ago, OptOut said: I just wanna live in goo, getting fed/jerked off by a robot. Is that a crime?! Give me everything you own and I'll keep you in a bathtub full of perpetually warm nutrient rich olive oil. I'll even refresh it every couple of years or so. And once a day I'll put on an N64 themed puppet show for your amusement. Do we have a deal? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-type | 2,482 Posted April 11 Share Posted April 11 personally, I'd go for the White void, where I can load my own preferred world and don't have to interact with other PCs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH | 4,907 Posted April 11 Share Posted April 11 On 4/9/2024 at 7:30 PM, fox said: Remember the machines picked the Matrix to be stuck in 1999 No pandora. No Spotify Just radio playing endless Nu Metal till the end of time That is a very special kind of hell IIRC, they picked the period of Neos life because that was "peak civilization". This means that (doing some math...) the real people in the matrix were likely born around 1965-1975, lived roughly 85 years in their pods (to 2060) and then they'd "restart" after that. So the robots think peak civilization is right now... huh... they might be right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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