What initially brought you to NA?

I initially came to NA after we bought our house in like 2012-2013.  We’d both come armed with NES games.  Mine were childhood games and some stuff I’d picked up randomly from the local used media chain during college but most of hers were given to her by some dude I can only assume was named Pringle.  One evening I decided to go through the boxes to see what was in there and what it was worth.  That process and Google led me to NA where I discovered in my possession some game I’d never heard of; Little Samson.  Next thing I know I’m on eBay buying Dragon Warrior II.  Got hooked pretty quickly.

What was your initial reaction to seeing the value of that Little Samson?

My initial reaction to the Samson price was something along the lines of “What the hell is wrong with these people?”  After the shock that any of these games could be worth that much wore off I pretty quickly settled into wanting to snatch up some more of that NES nostalgia.  Hanging out at NA turned on the crazy mode pretty quickly.  I used to spend a morning reading the forum and be struck by the overwhelming urge to buy a bunch of stuff.  

Story behind your username and avatar?

My username is based on the most bad assedly named town in Norway with a twist on the end evoking the glory of the height of the Roman Empire.  Yes, I used to be a problem drinker.

The Avatar is easy.  Quantum Leap is awesome.  Not the new one though.

Top 10 favorite games of all time?

Top Games?  Suikoden II, Dragon Warrior, SMB3, Castlevania SOTN, Final Fantasy Tactics, Final Fantasy VII, Legend of Zelda, PTO II, Klax, EVO.  That’s vaguely in order but not really and I’m sure I’m forgetting important stuff that should be on that list.  I really enjoyed the Witcher 3.  Fuck. Paperboy should be in there.  I love paperboy.

Family?  Kids?  Domestic geese?

Let’s see, I live with my semi-non-platonic life partner and we have 2 kids together.  I actually left my job a while after the second one was born and covid was in full thing and for now I’m the stay-at-home dad.  It’s pretty cool most of the time.  I get to partake in all the things while they are little.  We’ve also got a dog Edith, and a cat Tessa and a grandpa that live in the basement (RIP my gameroom).

Favorite book?

Favorite book is hard to pick one so you’re getting a couple: Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series is up there, Dune is a big one - I read this series until one of the last ones that Frank Herbert wrote and it got kind of weird,  Generation of Swine - I’m a big fan of Hunter Thompson’s work and this one is my favorite and probably my most reread book.

Movie?

I’m really not a big movie guy, probably Amadeus. My wifelike person complains that I never pick anything that was released in the last 20 years.

TV show?

Star Trek - most of them.  TNG is my favorite but I’m also a really big fan of TOS and I think Deep Space 9 is really underrated.  Really the only thing I ever actually watch these days.  Everything else just gets put on in the background while I don’t pay attention.    

Futurama - Love this one.  Seen them a billion times but I haven’t seen the new ones yet…because I started watching from the beginning again so I’ll update you guys with my feelings in 2026.  

Song/album/artist?

This is too tough to pin down as some sort of all time pick.  I think there’s been a lot of top bands over the years and the formative years influence of someone like Metallica weighs heavily.  Amon Amarth is a solid contender for all time.  Currently the band I keep coming back to is Polyphia.  I love guitar melodies that are emotive and interesting enough that you don’t need vocals.  I also really like shit that makes me go wow.  This is really the headspace I’m in music wise these days.  

Alright, obviously you're a big metal guy, so let's hear it.  Top ten songs of all time, go.

I’m gonna spitball this one some because the final list is only scheduled to be released upon my death.

Sanitarium (Metallica)

Imaginations from the Other Side (Blind Guardian)

Without Fear/Victorious March (Amon Amarth) - Cheating a little with 2 tracks that are connected and i think make the strongest 1 2 punch I’ve encountered

Not Unlike the Waves (Agalloch)

Towards Dead End (Children of Bodom)

White Willow (Elvenking)

A Trace of Blood (Pain of Salvation)

Dante‘s Inferno (Iced Earth) - I hate that this is on here after what’s happened but the number of times I’ve threatened my upper spine with serious damage because of this song is undeniable.

Built on Ashes (Zeal & Ardor)

Eppur si muove (Haggard)

Oof.   No order there.  I feel like there’s an entire galaxy of bad ass shit that probably could be plugged in there if I thought on it long enough.

Lol I keep a Spotify playlist called peak metal that I reserve for only the most bad ass metal tunes.  Sort of a running top Songs candidates list.  So anyway, I’m listening to it in the background as I’m coming up with this list and as soon as I sent it Drapery Falls comes on and damn what a good tune.  Don’t know who I‘d remove to get them on there though.  

Star Trek or Star Wars?

Star Trek easily.   Something about the world they’ve created I find pretty engrossing and comforting.  The world also feels more tangible as opposed to space ninjas and cowboys pew pew.  And have you seen the diverse alien life forms they encounter?

Best Star Trek game?

Are there actually any good ones?  Of the ones I played I’m partial to the SNES The Next Generation game.  Even more than actually playing the game I always really enjoyed just scrolling through the computer files.  Some cool stuff in there.  It’s one of the handful of SNES titles I’d really like a CIB copy of.

Best Star Trek movie?

I’m really not a movie guy so I’m not really that big on any of the movies.  My favorite is probably The Wrath of Khan.  Im also partial to the Voyage Home.  In my head the Blind Guardian lyric in Theatre of Pain about “when the last whale went away”  always makes me think of this one.  The TNG movies were kind of sucky.  I was not impressed with that Sting looking dude as the villain.  The newer movies were entertaining but kind of pew pew Transformers action movie-ish for me.  
The real gold is in the different series and their ability to address real deep philosophical topics the episode after dressing everyone up like Robin Hood characters.  Also, Deep Space 9 does not get enough love for how good it was.  

Coffee or tea?

Coffee.  Unless it’s iced tea.  Unsweetened always.  

Wine, beer, or liquor?

Beer.  Pretty narrow band of interest there too.  Don’t really like „craft“ beer usually tastes like they’re trying too hard.  Generally I keep it under 6%.

Which member of The Breakfast Club are you?

The cool one, definitely the cool one.  Who am I kidding, I never got detention.

SNES or Genesis?

Both?  I had both of these systems during this generation and I don’t have a strong preference for one vs the other.  Both systems had their highlights.  Slight edge SNES.  I really enjoyed EVO.

PS1 or N64 or Saturn?

This one’s easily PS1.  I didn’t realize it at the time but I was an earlyish ps1 adopter back when long boxes were still prevalent.  This was like JrHigh/High School years so a major phase in gaming for me.  I got the magazines at the time (including PSM from the very beginning) and I got to ride all of the hype trains for these absolutely juggernaut genre-defining games that came out.  Ahh I remember riding in my buddy‘s Monte Carlo to the Best Buy to the local shopping mall to pick up our pre-ordered Resident Evil 2s like it was yesterday.  
The N64 was cool too.  I was always jealous of my buddy getting to play Wave Race.  Led to me buying Jet Moto.  Yeah, not the same but still fun as hell.  

Do you collect anything besides games?

Nope not me.  I really buy myself almost nothing in the way of stuff.  Game collecting was my one splurge.  

Other interests and hobbies?

Music is my big hobby.  Live music is pretty much my main going out activity (you may have noticed from the concert thread) amongst other patronages of the arts.  We got season passes to the theater last year which I was skeptical of at first having only seen the Book of Mormon previously.  I’ve got to admit, it’s actually been really enjoyable with some really excellent surprises.  Go to comedy shows too sometimes when I get the chance.  Bill Burr at the football hall of fame stadium was the last one.  Good stuff.  

Where do you hail from?

I‘m from just west of Cleveland.  I’ve lived in Northeast Ohio my whole life.  So…that’s cool.  

First game you ever owned or played?

The first game I ever owned definitely would’ve been SMB/DH.  Everything pre-NES is just a bit too old for me with no older siblings or anything.  One of my earliest NES memories has to be playing through the Legend of Zelda with my dad and hand drawing maps of the dungeons on this yellow paper he used to get from work.  Man I wish I had those maps.

Dream vacation?

Ya know you can do these six month long cruises around the world that sounds like a pretty awesome retirement present.  But, we’ve never been on a cruise before so that might be awful.  Probably more realistic is somewhere in the Caribbean.  One of those nice ass resort type deals.  I don’t want to have to put effort into anything.  

Favorite restaurant?

Like a local eatery?  Don’t really have one of those.  Maybe like Taco Tantos.  I do have a pretty firm rule never to eat any food from Elyria.  I’m sure there are some perfectly not disgusting dining options but I’m not looking for them.

If I’m given completely free rein to choose dinner I’m probably going with the Brazilian steakhouse Texas de Brazil.  Nothing more satisfying than the meat sweats.

Favorite meal to make?

I’ve been pretty into making a Cajuny pasta lately with the sausage and shrimps and the whole nine yards.  I’ve been hooked on this comedian Uncle Rodger lately and it’s really made me want to try my hand at Fried Rice.  I’d have to buy a wok though.  Any suggestions on that front world be appreciated.

Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate

Fast food of choice?

Taco Bell

Best cereal?

Honey Bunches of Oats.  Or Count Chocula

Best yogurt?

Key Lime

Best local drink?

The water.  Our water is the best water.  Ask anyone.  I’d like to take a moment to recognize what overrated tryhard trash Great Lakes brewing is.  Christmas Ale is straight up gross.

Browns or Cavs or Guardians?

Sigh.  Browns.  It disgusts me though.  Glad they finally got an “adult” in the qb spot.  It’s fine.  Everything is fine here. I’m all in on the Lions train right now though.  

Baseball sucks but I do like that I can take the whole family to a game for like $8.  Go to quite a few.  

(asked before the Super Bowl) Chiefs or Niners?

Niners.  You guys fucked up getting Phil Dawson a ring but that’s ok.  Appreciate the attempt.  I think we’ve all had enough of the Chefs winning.

Deshaun Watson or Johnny Manziel?

Johnny Football.  At least he didn’t show up for work because he was passed out wasted in a hot air balloon not because he was busy giving handjobs in the parking lot of a Parma Walmart.  Why’s that shoulder sore again Deshaun? Actually can we just have  Brandon Weeden back?  At least that was horrible and hilarious.

Ohio State or U of Cincinnati? 

Can’t Read, Can’t Write, Kent State baby.

The Browns winning the Super Bowl next year?  Or are they regressing?

Lol no.  Everyone remembers the 0-16 season but nobody ever mentions the other Hue Jackson season at 1-15.  Or the entire decade prior where it was a successful season if they went above their usual 4 wins.  There was like 3 years in there where they just had Josh Cribbs play every position.  That went as well as expected.  They don’t call it the factory of sadness for nothing.  

Ever watch The Drew Carey show?

Of course.  It’s been a lot of years but I remember it being pretty entertaining.   Oh how novel, coffee beer.  Now that every hipster in a man bun makes coffee beer can we finally admit that it was and is gross?

Michigan, Indiana, or Pennsylvania?

As far as I’m aware Indiana is just a bunch of creepy religious weirdos.  The only time anyone goes to Indiana is when they miss their exit looking for Dayton.  
Pennsylvania is Pittsburgh and Philadelphia with Deliverance in between.  A genuinely terrifying place that I would never want to be stuck in after dark.

So Michigan it is.  They’ve got good dank and cheap.  Detroit is also my go to nobody’s tour comes to Cleveland anymore city.  

Are the people of Cleveland also obsessed with Skyline Chili, Zippos,and all that shit?

Hell no.  We look down on Cincinnati and their stuff.  As it should be.  We just eat our chili regular and don’t add weird shit to in it in a desperate attempt to be quirky.   The appropriate noodle for Chili is elbow macaroni.  Period.  Joe Burrow is aight though.  

Bengals, Ravens, or Steelers?

Bengals.  If one of them has to do well I’m going the Cincy incest route.

Best thing about Ohio? Worst thing?

Best thing?  Umm Dave Chappelle?  Ooh I know, I’m actually a really big fan of our State (and local) Parks System.  It’s pretty extensive and enjoyable.  Spending a week next month in one of the cabins too.  Very chill.  Now that the kids are getting bigger I’d like to branch out into the hiking aspect more rather than spending all of my time at the pool.
Worst?  The other people that live here.  It’s gone really obnoxiously red the past decade or so.  I’m so fucking tired of arguing with locals about how they think we shouldn’t fund the schools because one time in 1972 they bought pianos and gave teachers raises.  These MFers were full on ready to go black people hunting when George Floyd happened.  

What does your wife think of your collection?

Oh she totally thinks it stupid and we always kind of had like a don’t ask don’t tell policy on it.  I’d get packages in the mail and they would get spirited away into my basement lair.  She never really pushed me to sell anything very much but let’s just say when I started selling a bunch post covid she got the emotional rollercoaster of super excited I was selling some stuff to really disappointed that I used that money to buy different games and finally settled on annoyed that I had all my shit spread all out on the dining room table.

(Hammer has to take his kids to tae kwon do) Can your kids kick your ass?

Heh not yet.  Though I have a healthy fear of knife hand to the balls.

First thing that comes to mind:

Nintendo

That big beautiful gray box.  Was really the only generation where Nintendo was undisputed king for me.  

Sega

Seg-do what Nintendo-don’t.  Got the Genesis for Christmas one year and I remember it taking my dad like an hour to hook it up to the shitty little TV in the full on wood paneled back room of my childhood home.  

1990s

Fresh Prince.  Did you know DJ Jazzy Jeff is touring with New Kids on the Block? Man, when I was a kid there was this magazine called Dinosaurs or something like that that I used to walk down the street to the local Convenient store near me to get.  Each one came with some plastic pieces to make a dinosaur skeleton.  Loved that shit.

1980s

NES.  There was still a Woolworths at the mall.  My dad used to pick up his paychecks from this creepy ass stone building at the edge of the steel mill.  One time a kid fell off his bike and cracked his head open on the sidewalk near our house.  This may have been the early 90s.

2000s

Liver Damage.  These were my college years.  A lot of interesting life experiences but also a lot of terrible decision making.  I tried to ford the river to get home on my 21st birthday.  

Metal

Ronnie James Dio.  He is the most metal dude of all time.  Ugly weird little dude who’s really into dragons?  Hell yeah.  

Pizza

Giovanni’s Pizza in South Lorain.  Gotta go to less savory areas if you want the good stuff.

Beer

Cincinnati

Jerry Springer.  Seriously, I just really don’t think about them.  It’s basically just Kentucky. I went there once for a bachelor party.  Meh.  

Canada

When Ren and Stimpy visited the vast wiener fields of Canada.  I like your song better than I like our song.  I mean they’re just across the lake so I look forward to standing arm in arm with them one day to protect our water. 

Children

Interesting mix of Pride, Joy, and Irritation.  I have a giant head.  My son also has a giant head.  I once saw a vagina explode.  I think the boy might be a genius and the girl will most likely become the dictator of a small country.

40s

Anxiety.  I turn 40 this year.  Jeez, when did we get so friggin old?  I tweaked my back riding the tea cups this past summer.  

Are you going to give your kids your collection, have it buried with you in your casket, or gonna come home one day to find out it was sold via garage sale?

To the kids would be the current plan.  The value is more a novelty to mean that is pretty nice to think about having if there were some emergency that required it.  As it stands now the kids have almost full access to my loose NES, SNES and Genesis collection.  The boxed stuff is packed away.  I encourage them to explore through different stuff and to try to keep them in alphabetical order.  They are not in alphabetical order.

Gaming holy Grail?

I don’t  have one.  I’m not a fan of the term.   If I could complete any  one thing it would probably be my black box set.  Though that’s more a matter of $$.  If I had a significant amount of cash to blow I’d probably go for some sort of arcade set up first.  The one thing I’ve been hunting for years and there’s just very little traces of are the older rarer Lightspan titles.  I’ve all but given up.  A guy can only look through so many blurry box pictures of the same handful of series for so many years.  Still look every once in a while.

Big plans for 2024?

Not really.  It’s a developmental year in a lot of ways so we’re just marching forward.  Bunch of concerts lined up already.  Lot of tours getting announced this time of year so we’ve been in that mode of snagging tickets to interesting shows and hoping it fits in the schedule later.  The Ocean coming up soon.

Walk us through a day in the life of Hammerfestus

Well, I’m currently a stay-at-home parent so my day usually revolves around the kids days.  I’m guaranteed to be woken up between 5:30 and 6:15.  At this point I can usually fend them off for a half hour or so with a cartoon.  Off to school with ye.  After I drop the kids off I will usually puff one and then knock out some cleaning and whatever things need done around the house.  This is when you guys are seeing me most active with my werewolf.

 Pick up the little one in the afternoon and it’s usually art projects and activities and stuff.  I spend a lot of time at the library or park.  Then I pick up the big one and after that it’s making dinner and then whatever evening sports and stuff.  This is my first year with snow days.  Wtf snow days suck now.  I mean it really didn’t help that most of them have been because of the brutal cold. The snow was really fluffy too so that was kind of weak.  Couldn’t make snowballs or anything fun.

After I get the kids to bed usually I’m pretty beat.  I normally just chill out with some tv or some games or something for a few hours.  I really need to get back to squeezing a workout in after they go down.  Lol I’m such a fat piece of shit these days.   

Who should I interview next?

@JamesRobot. I want to hear the story of liquor store bro to CFO of a multinational conglomerate.  

Unfortunately I already did James once upon a time.  And everyone else from Colorado...

I guess this got bumped out another month because of the interview logjam.  What should we talk about for another 30 days?

Huh.  I thought I went back and checked before I suggested him.  How about @docile tapeworm?  There’s got to be some quality Florida man stories in there.

There was something I was thinking about that we should have talked about but I can’t recall off the top of my head.  I’ll bring it up when I think of it.  

Ooh here’s a fun fact.  My semi-non-platonic life partner and I joined the Ohio chapter of the Satanic Temple last year and this is still the centerpiece on our mantle lol

Xmas at our house this year everybody!  

We were just talking about this the other night: after initially attending a lot of their Zoom meetings and such we learned that in fact they are a bunch of weird cliquey nerds and I do not want to hang out with them, however, they sure do good work and I fully support them dragging around their statue of Baphomet to whatever courthouse lawn currently needs it.

I've also interviewed skinny.  You don't recall these because they happened on NA 

There may or may not have been video of him taking a shotgun to Tetris.

Lol.  Well damn.  I’d like to see that.  What about Graded Japanese Dragon Quest guy? Fenrir or whatever he’s calling himself these days.  That should be fun.

I think he left.  Again...

As far as your framed trophy... nice.  I wore one of my Behemoth shirts while working out today at the office.  I'm still waiting to be reported to HR.

What does your partner think of your music choices?

Lol.  I’ve definitely gotten bitched at at home for taking the kids out for errands in my “Burn Your Local Church” t-shirt before.  

My partner has a lot of appreciation for and roots in metal.  One of my earliest bonding experiences with her involved how for some high school class she played the Dragonforce song “Valley of the Damned” and claimed it was a song about Malaysian freedom.  We still rock a lot of stuff together and she is my main concert-going comrade.  She was pretty irritated that she didn’t get to go to The Ocean recently.  There’s still a lot of Zeal & Ardor listening happening in our house these days.  All that being said though, she is way more into American Folk and Hipster music than I can usually stomach.  One of my favorite quotes from her on my music tastes anymore is that I’m into “weird jazz shit and black metal and nothing in between.”

Do you rock black metal or any other extreme metal in the car with the kids?  My boys have been requesting a lot of "Axes" (The Axe by Gojira) recently 

Oh for sure.  I very rarely censor the music I expose them to.  Electric Callboy was a pretty big hit for awhile (we did always skip Fuckboi though lol).   

The big one always requests Hurrikan.  Atta Boy.

Also the 4 year old thinks this song is about drawing in the driveway and it’s a little weird hearing her sing along behind me:

 My listening actually isn’t usually overly brutal so there’s way more weedly deedly dee than chugga chugga choo choo.  There’s also some element of democracy in the car so I spend more time than anyone should have to listening to Sea Shanties.

I've actually had to impose a partial ban on Electric Callboy (or as my boys call them, the "silly guys").  Too many lines or images that I'm afraid will be mentioned or repeated.

Lol they are silly guys.  

You know, in the beginning I had these grand ideas about introducing them to all of this classic stuff across the whole rainbow of music almost systematically.  It became obvious very quickly that that’s not the way at all.  Now I’m just hoping not to intelligibly encounter the word jism.  There are some topics I am in no hurry to have to actually answer.