The Grinch

And that morning as The Grinch looked down As he looked down from the mountain to the Sages of Sage-town He did see narry a tear, narry a frown Narry a frown as he looked all around The Sages were happy the Sages were singing The tooters were toot-tooting And bells ring-a-dinging Despite all his efforts Christmas still came So he tossed his ill-gotten tickets And The Grinch re-ran the game He again spun the big wheel Wondering who'd win the cart And as it settled The Grinch gave a shout Congratulations to @ndsnfr

You besmirch The Grinch's name so Compared to one so tacky and with such witless sass The Grinch is a force to be reckoned Deeply offending with the classiest of class Yet I am pleased beyond words with the Vega of Black His Christmas is ruined and his attitude smacks The prize he doesn't want And he knows where to stick it Despite all his effort The Grinch gets an extra ticket! So you all can thank the BlackVega Blame him as the reason For The Grinch has won! And I'll see you next season! The Grinch Wins!!

Ooh! You cheaters! You stinks! You overstuffed rats! You fattened up finks! How? How! HOW! HOW?! How dare you try to out grinch The Grinch?! Yet I won't waiver I won't flinch I'll still steal that cart! And the stealing will be a cinch!

Ah! A true Grinch after my own cold black heart As Grinchy a Grinch as this Grinch it may seem Worry not, we'll get those Sages Climb aboard the win Win WINNINGEST team!

My strategy is not to be the best And you may not yet be beaten But that cart I will win By stealin' and cheatin'!

You sages with your incessant poking and prodding With your time-of-the-season hooping and hopping! It's all too much and you celebrate too easy Turning my stomach and making me queasy Well you had better stay alert And you better take pause When you hop up on the lap Of your dEaR SaNTa cLaUse Because this old Grinch is up for the chore And when you see old Santy... Be careful what you wish for!

With that paltry score There's no way I won't win Keep up the "great work" And for certain I'm a shoe-in!

Down, I will go On in to VGS-town To best all of your scores And make you all look like clowns

The Grinch is back This year I will win And steal all of your raffle tickets Much to your collective chagrin Yes, I will steal your tickets And that Xmas cart will be mine And when the contest is over I will have ruined your VGS Christmastime!

6,220,090 3,503,000 1,018,260

Thank you all for playing And now The Grinch must depart But one final update To declare WHO won the cart... Congratulations, @NESfiend I'll send an IM to finish the deal And once the gift has been received The identity of The Grinch shall be revealed

One final update for Grinch on Christmas day One final stab at being mean You've got one more shot One more chance One more attempt to be seen All you gotta do Is beat my 118

The Grinch loves eggs And suckers, I've had a few But the SUCKINGEST sucker who ever sucked Is nobody other than you

No one has more self loathing than The Grinch! And in two day's time I will prevail My will is iron clad There is no way that I will fail! Ha! You update none too often And your distance is all too few The Grinch will not be bested By a LOSER such as YOU

Your mind games won't work The Grinch works alone And I'll work tirelessly Until all you sages are pwned! The Fiend and the Doug just won't do And neither will a butler like you You all have no hope Not even this dope: And Christmas will be ruined for you too!

I'm The Grinch Of course I'm funny It's my Job It's what I do I act funny I look funny And I SMELL funny... Just like you!

While I'm not above a smattering of flattery And my personal aroma is exquisitely STINKY YOUR entire wealth of talent would fit In my teeny weeny gnarly old pinky And The Grinch bend the knee? Ha! Is that what I heard? I will never no not No, NEVER Will I kneel To a NERD

Ooh! more language that is foul More insults that are crude Well my friend, this your hour To meet with the crudest and rudest of rude dudes (That's me ) Your score may be the best The best of the best I confess But Grinch Night is high cinema! Of the utmost pinnacle! Even if you were intending To be so transparently cynical So I am awash in your lame insults, Mister AVGN Gamer But your handle is much worse And oh so much lamer!

Ho ho! The Grinch is NOT done, he is not done quite yet He is just getting started and has much further to get And with a hop and a jump and a quickness of step The Grinch will beat everyone including you I just bet!

Out from the Gloves there arose such a clatter But this Grinch had nary a concern on the matter I'd wager all-in Gloves has no knowledge of The Grinch The Grinch with that terribly smelly face stench For when asked if ever had he seen the cartoon, The cartoon with the Grinch and the Whos who are loons He answered and he said He said it and I mean it Yes, he answered and he said it... "No... I haven't seen it."

Bowser's an old friend And I wish you more meetings With many more Bowsers And many more beatings!

I'll mop the floor with everyone including you, old Mr. Glover I WILL ruin Christmas for them and for YOU And in a week's time you'll ALL be sobbing, "Boo hoo hoo!" You're missing the boat and not paying attention The Grinch CAN jump and CAN run all in a rage And I'll embarrass you and every last sage! Best check again I am matching your distance Which puts you out of the running despite your persistance How dare you @ THE GRINCH And mock me with such a crude phrase Plus I've heard YOU are the BLOW-bot in more than one way...

Yes, it is I the infamous Grinch And you Video Game Sages are worse than the Whos And reek of the same stench! Christmas has come And in my own mountain I am not very well sleeping With your video games incessantly boop booping and beep beeping So I have come to steal Christmas And to ensure that I do I will beat you all at your own game by a country mile plus two You can't beat the Grinch so why bother trying I'll be laughing at the finish line with the lot of you crying And I will sleep much easier Taking comfort in the chorus of all sages boo-hooing And knowing that for you, Christmas Day I am ruining!

Distance: 118 91 78 68 56 40 21 16