Masks in public/at the park

[JamesRobot | 5,798]

TLDR:  Triggered Karen starts shit because I told her kid that he needs to wear a mask to play with my kids.

So I'm at a park with my kids this morning (all of us in masks) and there is generally enough space to enjoy our time without being in close proximity to anyone else at this particular park.  Irregardless, I won't let my kids play with others that don't wear masks but will generally let them run around together if masks are in effect since it's outside.  

So a aoman and her boy roll up sans masks while we are on the swings.  She keeps her distance and sits on a bench (fine ) but her kid comes within a couple feet looking like he wants to play.  So I ask him where his mask is and of course he doesn't have one.  It kills me but I tell him he can't play near us without a mask.  He walks back to mom a little dejected and I leave it at that.

Then Karen pipes up indignantly, "Did you just tell him he needs a mask?!"

"Yes," I say, "if he is going to play near us, he needs one."

Karen, defiantly, "He's 4!"  Now it is true that kids under 10 are exempt from the mask order in Colorado but I still won't put my family in that situation and I am not about to up and leave just because someone else showed up.

By now we're both shouting across the park.  "I don't care! Wear a mask in public!"  This is the point I pretty much stopped listening.

Karen, "Well I'm a nurse and blah blah blah… !"

Me: middle finger.

Karen, "Oh, you're setting a real nice example for your kids!"  (Why do people always say that when I shoot em the bird in front of my kids?  Meh.)

Me: double birds.  "Quit being so selfish and put on a goddamn mask in public!"

So she gathers up her kid and leaves the park muttering all the way to the car.  There is plenty of other playground equipment at the park.  I just don't understand why mom can't play with her own damn kid on the jungle gym or the spring horses or something.

 

 

  

So was I over the line here?  My kids seem to think so.  I probably could've not given her the middle finger but I didn't want to have a public argument in the first place.

Edited January 3, 2021 by JamesRobot

[Reed Rothchild | 9,520]

I've gone to the big city park a few times in the last few months.  I was the only adult with a mask every time.

[Gloves | 11,776]

Could have set a better example obviously, but that's almost every situation - coulda been more perfect. Calmly closing the distance (up to 6+ feet still) and stating that you simply have rules for your children that you don't intend to break would have been probably ideal. She can do what she wants within the law, but when it comes to YOUR kids' safety, you are following a more stringent set of rules, and that is well within your rights.

[a3quit4s | 4,096]

I think here in MD people have to wear masks at the park. There are those that still refuse so if I see them coming I just grab bub and leave. It’s weird times we live in but I’m not trying to to get my bub sick. 
 

Secret to a happy life? Don’t argue with fools. 

[Code Monkey | 2,006]

What I think as someone that doesn't live in Colorado, doesn't have kids and very much dislikes kids. You asked for my opinion so here goes.

• It sounds like you handled it the same way I would have at first, politely tell the kid you'd rather he have a mask. I don't know if you told him to leave or something.
• Assuming the rule is exempt for children under 10, it also doesn't sound like she did anything wrong. She stayed away from the park because she didn't have a mask but allowed her kid to go there, fully within the rules. When you mentioned you had a problem with it, she told you why he is exempt.....he's 4. That makes sense.
• You made your decision to bring your child to an area where there is risk and danger, somewhere other children are not required to wear masks and you tried to alter the rules for others. I totally don't mind if someone else wants to break the rules for themselves but I would not be happy with someone else telling me I need to follow a different set of rules because they feel like it. It sounds like you have a problem with the rule set at parks so you need to talk to your local ward councillor, not the other parents at the park. Or don't go to the park.
• I don't understand giving someone the middle finger, it happens to me in traffic all the time, I don't understand it. So you showed me your finger.........I don't get it. This seems to me like the lowest form of neanderthal communication I could possibly imagine, I always try and place myself in the mind set of someone so low on the communication totem pole that they show someone else their finger as a message. Someone has to please explain to me why I'm supposed to be offended because I always just end up feeling badly for that person instead.
• I am truly amazed you did that in front of your child, that shocks me but maybe it wouldn't if I had kids. To actively show your kids that giving another person the middle finger just because they tried to educate you on the proper rule set is appalling, why would you show them that? I see parents in public all the time dragging their kids across the street outside of a cross walk and I just wonder to myself if that parent gets surprised when their kid does something stupid. I would have said the same thing to you.
• She also let you know her opinion is valid, she works in the medical field and she's within the government mandated rules. She explained all of this to you nicely and you gave her the middle finger again, then you yelled and swore at her. In front of your kid. Weird, man.

I don't know you and I'm assuming you gave me the correct information about the rules and exemptions here.

[Richardhead | 2,813]

Can you add “Should have body checked the 4 year old” to the poll?

[Hammerfestus | 3,833]

Nah, you’re good.  You do what you gotta do to keep your kids safe.  
 

Also, claiming “I’m a nurse” is pretty meaningless.  You can claim you’re a nurse when really all you have is that certificate that will get you a job cleaning nursing home bed pans.  What she actually intends is for you to back down because she threw an appeal to authority at you.

 

[drxandy | 3,225]

Yeah throwing nurse around is just a power play, an ignorant one but hey. A proper nurse would already be masked up as well as her kid. I think that you probably let your frustrations get the best of you but it isnt the end of the world, she def deserved it but kids change things. If it were my situation I probably would apologize to the kids and just explain why I was frustrated.

[drxandy | 3,225]

@Code Monkeythe finger is the non verbal version of telling someone "fuck you" 

[JamesRobot | 5,798]

56 minutes ago, Richardhead said:

Can you add “Should have body checked the 4 year old” to the poll?

Done!

[Jeevan | 8,910]

If she was a nurse and not some nut job, she would understand that this virus is something you should be careful about.  Has she seen what is really going on in the nursing field?  Is she really a nurse?  Shit @JamesRobot Im a nurse and i say you are wrong!!!!! 

Anyway, you do you buddy, people are stupid and there is no way you should have had to leave the park no matter what the law says about exemptions.  IMO you did go overboard, but then again, did you?  Technically your life could have been in danger, or that of your kids.  

Someone I know has been out of work for nearly 2 months and probably almost died, not sure, have no info. except they just got out of the hospital last week and went out before thanksgiving.  Sure not everyone has this happen to them, but what if you were that one person out of 10 or whatever that did?  

[JamesRobot | 5,798]

30 minutes ago, drxandy said:

If it were my situation I probably would apologize to the kids and just explain why I was frustrated.

I actually did apologize to my kids.  They seemed a little upset after we left so I asked my boy if I was out of line and he said yes.  I'm pretty hotheaded and try to keep it in check.

 

1 hour ago, Code Monkey said:

I don't understand giving someone the middle finger, it happens to me in traffic all the time

Learn to drive! 

Seriously though, I gave her the finger because I didn't want to hear her bullshit in the first place.  She ended up getting both barrels because she couldn't shut her fat mouth.  

[JamesRobot | 5,798]

1 hour ago, Hammerfestus said:

That's exactly how it happened.  Bow tie and all.

[Quest4Nes | 376]

No offense, but this display is pretty embarrassing. You keep calling her karen, but it really seems like you were the embodiment of a karen in that situation. Shes reacting to your karenness

 

Let the kids play man.  If you are this concerned and this is so scary then why did you even take them?

Edited January 3, 2021 by Quest4Nes

[O.G. CIB | 415]

Great job! Protect yourself and your kids at all cost. People taking things like playing in the park too lightly thus why it keeps spreading and the numbers are out of control. 

[RegularGuyGamer | 2,012]

The 3x more contagious COVID is here so I feel your caution for the situation is justified. The kid can get it and have no symptoms, then pass it to you, your wife, then friends and coworkers (potentially) and so on. I'm not worried about kids getting it as I am kids getting it and passing it to other people, namely adults. 

Sometimes I think ppl need to be told to fuck off. In fact, I don't think enough of it happens on everyday life. I'm generally an agressive and abrasive person, at least that's what I'm told, so that's kind of my natural state. I don't get offended when ppl tell me to fuck off and wish it was more accepted. 

Being that way, I've just learned to avoid conflict. You asked for the kid not to play w.o a mask. It's a yes or no answer. The kid is free not to, just play else where with others. No big deal. 

Whether I agree with someone's position or not doesn't mean I'll argue. She should've shrugged her shoulders and just went her separate way. That's what it means to be in a free country. You can both have your opinions and operate seamlessly. 

So, no. You weren't in the wrong. People just need to keep their opinions to themselves and live and let live instead of constantly looking for hills to die on.

[Californication | 1,477]

I mean, I don't think she respected your perspective, and as a parent she is responsible for her kid. 

I usually don't talk to other peoples kids, but in this type of situation I would have said something to the kid because you want to immediately get the potential threat away from you and your family.

When she got loud, I would have been calm, and then if she kept it up I would tell her off. I think your mostly right, I just would have been a step further back from cussing her out. I try to make sure I have a good reason to tell someone off so I don't second guess myself later.

 

[Code Monkey | 2,006]

45 minutes ago, JamesRobot said:

Seriously though, I gave her the finger because I didn't want to hear her bullshit in the first place.  She ended up getting both barrels because she couldn't shut her fat mouth.  

Makes sense but I think it might be a mistake to shut someone down without listening to them. I've had someone complain about something to me before and when I realized they were mistaken about one of their assumptions, I tried to talk to them politely to let them know the entire situation is not what they think it is but as soon as I start talking, they just yell at me to shut up and walk away. If they would simply take the time to listen, I would let them know which incorrect assumption they have.

You should always listen to someone if they're talking to you rationally, they may just tell you something you didn't know.

Now if that person is just shouting and totally irrational, then I wouldn't listen to them neither.

[Boosted52405 | 178]

This one is tricky, and as I have a 3yo little duder I can totally relate.  However, it's a public place and if there is not a lawful order for her kid to wear a mask, then it's simply a civil issue between you and the Mom (really, just you).  I think you crossed the line considerably, to be honest.

Taking your kiddo to a public park is 1000% opening up the door for this situation, and honestly, you have no right telling a kid to stay off some public equipment just because you want them to wear a mask around your kid.  You don't own the park, and that is really how you behaved.  Furthermore, to publicly argue (and even flip off?!?!) the Mother in front of both of your kids - shows some serious immaturity.

If I would have been the Mom, I would have been livid at this behavior in front of my kid.

While I 1000% agree the kid should have wore a mask simply out of public respect, I fully assume you created a really shitty day for that Mom.  Parenting is hella tough as you probably know fully well, that is probably the last thing she needed to encounter.

You could/should have asked her if he had a mask, and if not, set the example to the other parent by taking your kid and walking away - perhaps explaining to your duder/dudess that you want to keep them safe and it's super important to wear a mask around people right now (my 3yo would fully understand that).

Sure, I am ranting a little here, but am a bit surprised at this story (especially the middle finger part).  Up until winter hit, I would only take my kiddo to empty parks and he knew going in that if other people show up, we will probably go find another park.

It's clear from your poll and public posting that you question your actions, I'm just being totally honest and can relate very closely being a single parent.

[Strange | 1,700]

Some people need to be told that the world doesn’t revolve around their little personal discomforts. Anti-maskers are the embodiment of entitled. James is probably one of the few to call her out on her bullshit. And don’t give me the “some people can’t wear masks because of medical issues” party line because every person I know with breathing issues, asthma, or whatever understands the severity of a virus that shreds your lungs like a weed eater. They take it more seriously than anyone.

Masks are the easiest possible thing in the world to have been asked of everyone and the entitled anti-maskers are acting like they are being asked to staple and unstaple their nostrils every time they go out.

I don’t want kids personally, but for those like me who don’t have any, I can vouch that there’s something primal that changes in you. My brother had his kid two years ago and everything from his priorities to reactions to things have changed. The same happened to my best friend. Some may say James’ reaction was over the top but it’s his children and nothing will ever be more important to him.

Also, my lungs are hurting as I type this. Because someone I live with was careless and didn’t take proper COVID precautions. I didn’t care about anti-maskers feelings before, and I certainly care about them ever less now. Tell them all off.

Edited January 3, 2021 by The Strangest

[Boosted52405 | 178]

1 hour ago, Jeevan said:

If she was a nurse and not some nut job, she would understand that this virus is something you should be careful about. 

Anyway, you do you buddy, people are stupid and there is no way you should have had to leave the park no matter what the law says about exemptions.  IMO you did go overboard, but then again, did you?  Technically your life could have been in danger, or that of your kids. 

1000% agree about the "if she was a nurse part", but 100% disagree about the bolded part.  That isn't how public parks work, at all.  People don't get to dictate who/what/when/where anything with respect to the public equipment, it isn't a first-come-first-serve sort of deal.  The only thing the OP could control is where his kid goes in that situation, in which he should have just got up and walked away.

Questions to ask - are any laws being broken?  What would a cop or lawyer say?  There you go...

To be clear, I do fully agree with the caution and concern of the OP, my issue is with the other 98% of the situation.

Edited January 3, 2021 by Boosted52405

[Jeevan | 8,910]

1 minute ago, Boosted52405 said:

1000% agree about the "if she was a nurse part", but 100% disagree about the bolded part.  That isn't how public parks work, at all.  People don't get to dictate who/what/when/where anything with respect to the public equipment, it isn't a first-come-first-serve sort of deal.  The only thing the OP could control is where his kid goes in that situation, in which he should have just got up and walked away.

Questions to ask - are any laws being broken?  What would a cop or lawyer say?  There you go...

Ok, um, hmmm..... hypothetical situation here, If your kid was playing on a little back hoe thing or was on a swing, and another kid came over and pushed them off, is that ok?  Not trying to be argumentative here, but sure, maybe OP should have said, you guys can have the equipment in 10 mins. and we will let you play here, just please respect for 10 more mins.

IDK, just saying, public places are there for the public use, yes i agree, and no one has more right to it then another, but that doesn't mean that they have to share at the same time.  also, how do we really know her kid was 4?  Did she whip out their birth certificate?  She could have been lying through her teeth, and then she would have been breaking the law.  Also, she should not have been there in the first place without a mask.......just sayin'.  Technically she was going against the mandate there as well.

 

[Boosted52405 | 178]

4 minutes ago, Jeevan said:

Ok, um, hmmm..... hypothetical situation here, If your kid was playing on a little back hoe thing or was on a swing, and another kid came over and pushed them off, is that ok?  Not trying to be argumentative here, but sure, maybe OP should have said, you guys can have the equipment in 10 mins. and we will let you play here, just please respect for 10 more mins.

IDK, just saying, public places are there for the public use, yes i agree, and no one has more right to it then another, but that doesn't mean that they have to share at the same time.  also, how do we really know her kid was 4?  Did she whip out their birth certificate?  She could have been lying through her teeth, and then she would have been breaking the law.  Also, she should not have been there in the first place without a mask.......just sayin'.  Technically she was going against the mandate there as well.

 

Pretty sure you completely missed my point.  For your hypothetical situation, what is your resolution if it were you?  What is within your legal right at that point in time? 

Not much at all to be frank, you can speak with the parent and ask them to handle their kid, otherwise you pretty much can't do anything.  I truly wonder what even calling the cops in that case would result in, I assume the cop would ask the other parent to leave as they are responsible for their kid and are disturbing the peace - but I am not sure if they legally can enforce it or not if the parent objected.

For me, if that happened I would absolutely speak to the parent and express the bullshittiness of it (yet I am aware enough not to act like an idiot in front of my kid).  If the parent brushed it off, I'd take the high road and just leave.  It's not a point of avoiding conflict and being a pussy, it's just being mature and responsible.

And to point out the obvious, a large percent of equipment at public parks is for shared use.  I assume that is the equipment in question, like a merry-go-round or a slide or something.

 

 

[Jeevan | 8,910]

1 minute ago, Boosted52405 said:

Pretty sure you completely missed my point.  For your hypothetical situation, what is your resolution if it were you?  What is within your legal right at that point in time? 

Not much at all to be frank, you can speak with the parent and ask them to handle their kid, otherwise you pretty much can't do anything.  I truly wonder what even calling the cops in that case would result in, I assume the cop would ask the other parent to leave as they are responsible for their kid and are disturbing the peace - but I am not sure if they legally can enforce it or not if the parent objected.

For me, if that happened I would absolutely speak to the parent and express the bullshittiness of it (yet I am aware enough not to act like an idiot in front of my kid).  If the parent brushed it off, I'd take the high road and just leave.  It's not a point of avoiding conflict and being a pussy, it's just being mature and responsible.

And to point out the obvious, a large percent of equipment at public parks is for shared use.  I assume that is the equipment in question, like a merry-go-round or a slide or something.

 

 

idk, all im really trying to get across is that technically she should have been wearing a mask.  She really should have because she is over the age of 4.  Anyway, I agree I would prolly do the same while my wife would be a @JamesRobot .  BTW I has no kids  

[Boosted52405 | 178]

2 minutes ago, Jeevan said:

idk, all im really trying to get across is that technically she should have been wearing a mask.  She really should have because she is over the age of 4.  Anyway, I agree I would prolly do the same while my wife would be a @JamesRobot .  BTW I has no kids  

For sure, Mom and kid definitely should have wore a mask, no dispute there :).  Beyond that, while some people are saying this Mom deserved the lashing (pretty surprised at some of the responses so far), I will flip the script and say sometimes people need to know when they are acting entitled.