Asshole Parents

[B.A. | 1,139]

3 minutes ago, darkchylde28 said:

Sounds like you're either in too small/remote an area to have appropriate infrastructure to support everything or your school system simply wasn't interested in devoting resources the way they should.  If it's the latter, time to vote some new folks in as necessary this year to clean that up for you.  We live in a relatively rural area, in a small po-dunk "city" in the middle of a small po-dunk county amidst a lot of hills, farmland, and highways.  Even with all that, kids third grade and up are issued laptops as part of the regular learning curriculum and our school system used the entire summer to get the remote learning setup that I briefly described in place.  Stuff like what you're describing was more the norm at the end of March when the first lockdowns happened (no actual contact for remote learning, just emails/voicemails to advise when packets were available to be picked up and occasionally our son's teacher posting a video to YouTube of her reading a book for the kids) when they totally weren't prepared.  If I were you I'd be upset at the locals and the local school system and not the overall establishment, as there are more than plenty of school systems, teachers, administrators, IT staff, etc., that have handled this situation admirably given the circumstances and limitations available.

I am giving my exact experience. After all summer and even delaying the start of school a week, somehow the best they came up with is even worse than what we had last spring. If it is different for you then I'm happy for you. I have spoken to many other local working parents and they have had the same experience as we have. 

While I don't condone a parent being an asshole about things, I certainly understand the frustration. One of the garbage assignments last week, none of the links worked. When we tried to ask the teacher for help she said "I'm not sure what you are talking about, I didn't look at the details. Just skip that one". 

[Estil | 1,264]

Any of your parents try to pull this on you back in the day?  Mine sure did and I didn't get my SNES until Christmas 1994 (at least it was the All-Stars/World bundle).    And I made clear the previous three years that's all I really wanted for Christmas but they didn't budge  

 

[avatar! | 1,809]

30 minutes ago, B.A. said:

I am giving my exact experience. After all summer and even delaying the start of school a week, somehow the best they came up with is even worse than what we had last spring. If it is different for you then I'm happy for you. I have spoken to many other local working parents and they have had the same experience as we have. 

While I don't condone a parent being an asshole about things, I certainly understand the frustration. One of the garbage assignments last week, none of the links worked. When we tried to ask the teacher for help she said "I'm not sure what you are talking about, I didn't look at the details. Just skip that one". 

That certainly stinks. As darkchylde said it could be a district thing, but from what I can tell your case is certainly extraordinary at least compared with the rest of the country. Teachers usually give out assignments based upon curriculum developed in the State or district. Could also be the teacher is new, got a bunch of stuff dumped on her, is part-time, or maybe she really doesn't care. All that said, again, studies show teachers are overworked, stressed, and underpaid. They rarely get the guidance they deserve, and of course that can trickle down to their teaching and students. Hope things improve for you. 

[Tanooki | 4,932]

Well the experience here actually for remote learning was fumbled for about two weeks of figuring it out last school year.  But they quickly got a system going, teachers had zoom classes 3-4x a week for at least an hour going over assignments and doing group stuff.  Ideally, it didn't invade on my space or the fact I long and well before this crap went down have worked from home.

But considering mine has adhd+odd+ocd perhaps and I hate to even think it slightly into 'the spectrum' perhaps if it's just not the trio of unfortunately bullshit setting it off, ideal never happened.  What could have been done on camera and a bit off for 30-45min tops could be anywhere from an added hour to damn near 8hour day of arguing, wrinkling up and throwing assignments, refusing to work, finding a million things to focus on otherwise, you name it.  Teachers are paid to keep kids learning, grow their minds, and feed their ability to mature and deal with others around them.  Sure they're paid shit wage made worse by asining thuggish unions forcing membership and dues eating more of it up but they know it going into it.  I feel bad for them having to put up with it as part of their job as the respect isn't there where it should be in enough cases it's hard to argue otherwise.  But parents aren't being paid to be teachers, teachers are, and while we having that remote learning garbage happen, it's not ideal for many people, and by people I don't mean first parents, but the little people who should be in a room with others learning how to behave socially on top of learning what's in that curriculum.

I can say as I did before, mine barely learned crap for the months of April and May until school was out.  I'm glad mine is back in class and they're military prison guard strict on clean practices and the rest so we've got no fears and she's doing well. Given they did some testing on the kids and she's in 3rd and reading at an end of the 4th grade level and math is right there with it, I don't need some remote learning bullshit ruining that head start because of her issues.

[Hammerfestus | 3,835]

If you guys would’ve just worn your masks you wouldn’t now be stuck having to interact with your children.  

[fcgamer | 4,723]

9 hours ago, Tanooki said:

Teachers are paid to keep kids learning, grow their minds, and feed their ability to mature and deal with others around them. 

...

But parents aren't being paid to be teachers, teachers are, ... but the little people who should be in a room with others learning how to behave socially on top of learning what's in that curriculum.

This is the sort of situation I have a problem with, stated in the above choice sentences, likely taken somewhat out of context. I'm not addressing this particularly at Tanooki, rather just at the culture in general, and I'd like to pair it with what @Hammerfestus said about spending time with your own children.

Let's face it, children can be sweet, they can be fun, but they can also be a nightmare, more times than not. I used to have a saying about dogs, that I like them only if they're my own, and I think this sentiment fits nicely with children too.

There's a reason teachers are paid to do this job, and it's because let's face it, no one would do it otherwise. Everyone wants to have the "perfect" son or daughter, no one wants to do the legwork to actually raise one.

Parents, first and foremost, should be the ones teaching their children how to behave socially, how to interact with others, learning, etc. Teachers should then supplement it with knowledge and facts, things such as maths , science, history, etc. Period.

But in today's world, many parents would rather just push all the duties into the teacher's lap, expecting them to do it, but then they get pissed off when a teacher handles it differently than they desire. I mean, whose fault and problem is that? And for that reason I'd never be a teacher back in the States, as it's simply not worth it. It's literally a thankless job.

 

 

 

[Gloves | 11,776]

1 minute ago, fcgamer said:

There's a reason teachers are paid to do this job, and it's because let's face it, no one would do it otherwise.

This is true of basically any job ever.

[fcgamer | 4,723]

3 minutes ago, Gloves said:

This is true of basically any job ever.

Not particularly, no.

How many of you pay people to do your own laundry, pull weeds, mow the lawn, etc? For a lot of jobs that we don't enjoy doing we suck it up and do it anyways.

Then there are jobs that we enjoy or don't mind doing, then again we'd not pay someone for it.

And there are jobs that we personally don't have the ability to do, I'm not skilled at many trades so if I were remodeling my house, I'd be paying professionals for it, not because I wouldn't want to do it, rather I don't have the skills needed to do it.

In this situation though, parents should be teachers of their children. If someone doesn't have the skills to be a teacher, then they should keep their legs shut. 

[Gloves | 11,776]

2 minutes ago, fcgamer said:

In this situation though, parents should be teachers of their children. If someone doesn't have the skills to be a teacher, then they should keep their legs shut. 

Wow.

Yeah nvm; forgot not to talk about teachers with you. Moving on.

[B.A. | 1,139]

14 minutes ago, fcgamer said:

In this situation though, parents should be teachers of their children. If someone doesn't have the skills to be a teacher, then they should keep their legs shut. 

What an asinine statement.  I can't teach my kids proper socialization with other kids while we are locked up at home. I could teach them reading/writing and math 5 days a week, the problem is I ALREADY HAVE A JOB.  So in your opinion no one should have kids unless they are prepared to drop everything else in their life and focus solely on teaching their children. Only those who are independently wealthy and don't need to earn a living. 

[Magus | 169]

This situation always turns into a Parents Vs teachers argument, when the reality is that it sucks pretty equally for both in their own ways. I can understand the frustrations from both sides.

It's incredibly difficult to try and home school your kid, while also trying to work and support your family. Especially if they are young. 

It's also incredibly difficult to be a teacher and try and deal with all the restrictions of coronavirus if you teach in person, worrying about getting sick from kids who WILL NOT properly wear masks and wash hands and in some cases sneeze directly on you which a teacher i know has had this happen. Dealing with kids who are behaving even worse because of all the stress. While also learning how to teach in a completely different manner, using technology you have never used, and many of the times malfunctions. A relative teaches in a school that does half a day in person and the other half virtual. It's a mess. 

I feel bad for both parties. But right now you have parents getting pissed with teachers completely disregarding how difficult it is for teachers, and teachers getting pissed because they are completey disregarding the frustrations of the parents. Both overwhelmed and stressed. 

And in the worst of the worst, you have many teachers trying to teach your kids and be in school or virtual or both, while also trying to make sure their own kids are being home schooled properly or safe if in school. Just hope some solutions are found to help BOTH parties be able to navigate this weird time. 
 

Edited September 21, 2020 by Magus

[fcgamer | 4,723]

53 minutes ago, B.A. said:

What an asinine statement.  I can't teach my kids proper socialization with other kids while we are locked up at home. I could teach them reading/writing and math 5 days a week, the problem is I ALREADY HAVE A JOB.  So in your opinion no one should have kids unless they are prepared to drop everything else in their life and focus solely on teaching their children. Only those who are independently wealthy and don't need to earn a living. 

Yup, taking care of your children's needs should be your second job, until they are old enough to take care of themselves.

I don't have children myself, but I do have a cat that I raised since he was a small kitten. Before getting him I promised myself that I would put his needs first, no matter how tired I felt after working all day. 

@B.A. : I'm not calling you out and saying you are a bad parent; however, we all have seen plenty of stories about bad, irresponsible parents who put their needs over that of the children. Similarly, I've seen plenty of cases firsthand, through all the years I've been teaching, or just taking a look whilst out and about (kids walking around at about midnight with their parents in the convenience store, or whilst their parents are out for drinks, etc).

It's not just here in Taiwan though, I saw the same thing time and time again while my mother was a teacher in the USA, also have heard plenty of stories of a similar nature from a friend who used to teach in the UK.

In my opinion, it takes both parties (teachers and parents) to make things work properly. Sadly though, nine times out of ten parents aren't willing to make the sacrifices needed so that the teachers can do their job, fighting tooth and nail about every little thing. 

[Code Monkey | 2,006]

34 minutes ago, fcgamer said:

I don't have children myself, but I do have a cat

I laughed out loud at this.

[fcgamer | 4,723]

1 minute ago, Code Monkey said:

I laughed out loud at this.

Kewl.

[B.A. | 1,139]

1 hour ago, fcgamer said:

Yup, taking care of your children's needs should be your second job, until they are old enough to take care of themselves.

I don't have children myself, but I do have a cat that I raised since he was a small kitten. Before getting him I promised myself that I would put his needs first, no matter how tired I felt after working all day. 

You have the audacity to keep a day job while owning a cat?!?  How irresponsible of you.  Working all day?  According to your logic you gave up that privilege when you adopted that cat, just like I did when I chose not to "keep my legs shut".  

[fcgamer | 4,723]

5 minutes ago, B.A. said:

You have the audacity to keep a day job while owning a cat?!?  How irresponsible of you.  Working all day?  According to your logic you gave up that privilege when you adopted that cat, just like I did when I chose not to "keep my legs shut".  

Nope, not my point, and you know it. Don't be ignorant.

Parents gotta take the responsibility to parent and to teach their kids, that's pretty standard fare. Sorry that covid-19 is an inconvenience to you since you can't just shove off the kids to a teacher and make it their responsibility.

If a person has kids , it's their responsibility to take care of them, whether things are running smoothly or not. Aside from China and the WHO, no one could have predicted the mess we'd be in, but that's just how it is. It might suck to have to spend more time than usual helping out the kids during this strange time we are going through, but that's just how it is, part of the responsibility of taking care of others.

[B.A. | 1,139]

You don't have a point.  Teaching is a profession, people aren't required to chose to homeschool their kids.  Everyone pays taxes in order to have their kids learn from professional educators.  In fact I voted last November to pay higher taxes so the schools could have more money.  The idea that working parents (you know so they pay the bills in order to feed, house and clothe their children, ie putting them first) are somehow irresponsible is laughable and downright offensive.  

ETA: Don't ever change Dave.  Your contrarianism is one of the few rocks of consistency we can always count on during these strange times.  

[Reed Rothchild | 9,520]

1 hour ago, fcgamer said:

I don't have children myself, but I do have a cat that I raised since he was a small kitten. Before getting him I promised myself that I would put his needs first, no matter how tired I felt after working all day. 

@B.A.

 

[CodysGameRoom | 2,008]

If you don't have kids then you don't get it.

 

51 minutes ago, fcgamer said:

Aside from China and the WHO

Literally dying from laughter at @fcgamer using literally any excuse he can to bring up the fucking WHO.

Edited September 21, 2020 by CodysGameRoom

[Gloves | 11,776]

22 minutes ago, CodysGameRoom said:

Literally dying from laughter at @fcgamer using literally any excuse he can to bring up the fucking WHO.

The Band?

 

24 minutes ago, CodysGameRoom said:

If you don't have kids then you don't get it.

Don't give people a free "out" like that. I don't have kids and I get it. It's not rocket science.

In fact I'd say I don't have kids BECAUSE I get it. Shit's hard, I ain't in fo' dat.

[fcgamer | 4,723]

41 minutes ago, B.A. said:

You don't have a point.  Teaching is a profession, people aren't required to chose to homeschool their kids.  Everyone pays taxes in order to have their kids learn from professional educators.  In fact I voted last November to pay higher taxes so the schools could have more money.  The idea that working parents (you know so they pay the bills in order to feed, house and clothe their children, ie putting them first) are somehow irresponsible is laughable and downright offensive.  

Yup yup. These are shitty times we are in, yet it's the teacher's fault? Gotta learn to adapt buddy, don't be an asshole parent just because we are all suffering through a pandemic. 

 

21 minutes ago, CodysGameRoom said:

Literally dying from laughter at @fcgamer using literally any excuse he can to bring up the fucking WHO.

Good, I threw that one in there just for you mate! 

 

24 minutes ago, CodysGameRoom said:

If you don't have kids then you don't get it.

Ooh, this classic line. It gets quite old , and is quite offensive too, from a teacher's perspective.

[B.A. | 1,139]

7 minutes ago, fcgamer said:

Yup yup. These are shitty times we are in, yet it's the teacher's fault? Gotta learn to adapt buddy, don't be an asshole parent just because we are all suffering through a pandemic. 

Ha, now this response was just lazy, you can do better. 

If you read way back I said it's hard for everyone, parents, teachers and kids.  You are the one who started calling parents assholes and lazy and irresponsible and implied they should have never had kids, if they are having a difficult time managing homeschooling. 

If anything I am guilty of having TOO MUCH respect for teachers, I fully admit I'm not up to the task.  You are the one saying any old chump who can knock someone up should be able to do it. 

[fcgamer | 4,723]

2 minutes ago, B.A. said:

Ha, now this response was just lazy, you can do better. 

If you read way back I said it's hard for everyone, parents, teachers and kids.  You are the one who started calling parents assholes and lazy and irresponsible and implied they should have never had kids, if they are having a difficult time managing homeschooling. 

Sure. 

But did you ever stop to think for once why I might hold the opinion that I hold? Take a look at the thread title, the original post, and a few other posts scattered here and there that share the same feeling.

While I don't have kids and therefore "don't understand", as Cody posted above, I have worked with hundreds of children over the past decade, maybe even thousands, from preschool through elementary. Scary, huh?

Time and time again though, what I do see is parents choosing not to parent, letting their four-year-old stay up until midnight, then coming in the next day tired as hell. Or the kid that eats KFC for breakfast everyday, with a coke, then the parents get pissed off when we have a unit on healthy eating as their son "felt embarassed".

What about the parents that complain when we give their children a small homework assignment twice a week, even just begging to do a five-minute review? Parents know best, they don't want Johnny to get too stressed out, yet then who are the first to complain when Johnny's performance starts slipping behind that of his peers?

The complaints are limitless, and the most insulting thing is that in many cases, the teachers are actually spending more quality time with the children than the parents are. 

I think most teachers want to do what is best for the children they teach, I know I do. So complaining that things aren't up to your standards during a pandemic, when everyone is scrambling to figure out and choose the best solution from amongst a pile of turds , is ignorant and not necessary.

[CodysGameRoom | 2,008]

1 hour ago, Gloves said:

Don't give people a free "out" like that. I don't have kids and I get it. It's not rocket science.

In fact I'd say I don't have kids BECAUSE I get it. Shit's hard, I ain't in fo' dat.

Fair enough. I agree so I'll rescind that one.

[Tulpa | 3,492]

It takes a village to raise a child.

Unless the villagers are at each other's throats about who does what. God helps us, then.